I keep telling myself it's only a number as I stare in dismay at the digits. "Don't think about the number" you're told, "It's about how you feel". I try. I really try, but it's not working, so...
OK, who jumped ship? The other day I had 24 followers and now there are only 23 of you. Did I say something to cause offense/offence? It must have been something fairly egregious to make someone take the trouble to go to their Layout page and "un-follow" me. It's not something you do accidentally.
I knew I shouldn't have displayed my followers. I was just trying to be polite and acknowledge the people who like to read the drivel I come up with. I know I'm really bad at linking and following and all that stuff, although I do get around quite a bit and comment when I have something pithy to say. I'm not as exciting as those who somehow manage to post every day, but I said in the beginning that I would try not to burn out, and quite frankly, I'm very proud to still be here given the way my weeks often pan out.
Of course, now that every waking moment is filled with trying to figure out how, and why, I lost a follower, my attention has turned to the amount of followers other bloggers have. After a bit of research, I now realise that 24 (ok 23) is nothing at all to write home about. I have just found a very funny blog, I Need a Martini Mom, and she has 498 followers. 498? Go see for yourself.
Of course I had to stalk her and ask how long she has been blogging. Surely since 1992 at the very least. Instead however, she replied that something weird was obviously going on since she had just lost 20 followers in as many minutes. Now, if anyone mentions the word "schadenfreude" (Wiki - 'pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others') they might not be far from the truth. I have lost a far greater percentage (I think) of my followers than she has. However, not to appear too heartless, I think I would be quite gutted to find 20 people abandoning my blog in less than an hour.
As I said, it's just a number.
(Two minutes later).
Would you believe that in the time it took to write this post, I lost another follower. How low can you go people? I am now at a loss for words...
What on earth have I said?
My self esteem is in pieces. On the floor. O me miserum.
No. (Pause and wipe tear.) Don't. Anyone. Follow me. Just. To. Make. Me. Feel Better. I couldn't bear that.
It's just a number.
(I missed my calling didn't I? Eat your heart out Winslett.)