It's the Ball & Chain's birthday on Friday (the 13th - ha!). He is the type of guy who goes out and buys what he wants or needs, as the thought hits him. None of that "Ooh, I could ask for that for my birthday" or "That would make a good Christmas present" malarky.
And where does that leave the potential gift-giver? Up the proverbial creek without a paddle, or tearing my hair out in my case. And as the 5 year old said this morning after his 8am grilling on what to buy daddy, "Don't buy him anything. He never uses it anyway". Thinking that this was a bit harsh/mature for a 5 year old, I asked him where he got that idea. "That's what you said last year", he replied innocently.
Well actually, now that I think about it, last year (at the B&C's request) we got him a KitchenAid ice cream maker, which attaches to the big stand mixer, which spends 362 days on the pantry floor. Now I stress, this was his request and the last thing I would ever have thought he'd want. He is however, something of a kitchen man, making the kids pancakes, eggs and bacon every weekend, BBQing every meal all summer long, and apparently fancying himself as something of an ice cream expert. He was thrilled with the thing, bought all the (calorie laden) ingredients, made ice cream once, and put the maker back in the freezer. It hasn't seen the light of day since then, and it wasn't cheap either so I'm not giving it away.
His closet is like a museum to past gift ideas: There's the Polo shower gel and after shave cream, still unopened. Xmas 2007. Now I know he likes the smell because he used to wear the aftershave. (Hang on, since when was it okay for men to stop making an effort just because they're married? Must have a word about that.) There's the BBQ apron with "Licensed to Grill" on the front. (I know, I know, but I get desperate for ideas, and he does make a big mess when he cooks.) There are even two books still waiting to be read from this past Xmas. I've read them but he reads about one page a night, so at least they'll keep him going for a decade or two.
I picked the little guy up from school at 11.45am (hanging on for September when he goes all day.) He's allowed one episode of Max and Ruby before I drag him off to find things for daddy. We'll go to the place that sells all manner of cooking things, the book store, the garden centre (I said I was desperate), the nice men's clothes store and the sports store. If I don't come back with something I may find myself having to be creative.
And don't give me that look!