Friday 11 December 2009

Little Guy Makes an Entrance

I've just come back from the Little Guy's Holiday Concert. As I mentioned a few posts ago, the kids go to a non-religious school and the great thing is this concert literally covers every celebration at this time of year. His class sang a song in Spanish which I think mentioned riding to Bethlehem on a donkey. There was a traditional English song about "wassailing"; the teacher told the parents that it used to be a traditional for people to give carollers a "hot drink" when they came around singing. Hot drink my foot. I busted that "hot drink" wide open - it was probably mulled wine at the very least. So in fact, the innocent little seven year olds were singing about going door to door and cadging free drinks.

We had the usual array of kids who were more intent on finding their parents in the audience than actually joining in. One of these days they'll come so far to the edge of the stage there'll be an "incident". At one point during my son's song, about four kids all burst out laughing in the general direction of one of the music teachers. I never did find out what happened.

Little Guy came on the stage strutting like a gangsta; spiffy new trousers, white shirt and plaid waistcoat/vest. Unfortunately he can't stand having anything tucked in so the shirt was half way down to his knees and the waistcoat/vest was worn such that his overall appearance was more like a Rat Packer after a night on the town than a sweet little boy at Christmas. I think he was just trying to make an entrance. Unfortunately he had his laminated paper crown rammed so far down on his head that all we could see were his mouth and ears. I would recognise those ears anywhere however so I was able to zoom in with the camcorder just before the battery died.  (It had been charging all night so I think it's time for a new one.)

Later today I have to go back in with a few "Christian" mothers (cough, cough) to talk about Christmas. While searching for a nativity story that would be under two minutes in the telling, I decided to test it on Little Guy. He was quite interested, especially as this was probably the first time he'd heard it. "Oh so that's why we get presents", he marvelled, having just finished the bit about the Three Kings bringing gifts. "I wondered why you were being so nice to me". ('Cause I usually beat him and verbally abuse him of course.)

I elected to share an English tradition, (always goes down well, especially if I talk like the Queen), so offered to bring Christmas crackers in. Have you seen the price of those things? And you know there's going to be some serious whining when the kids see the plastic tat that they get with the paper hat. I'll just be glad if no one gets burnt when the strip of paper that's supposed to go bang malfunctions as it usually does.

I will report back.

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13 comments:

  1. I bought my Christmas crackers at Tesco's last year, the week after Christmas. They were about 50p for a pack of twelve! I still feel chuffed about that, but I can't remember where I put them.

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  2. Ha! Bit like me with Xmas cards. I always buy them in the January sales at fab prices, them put them away and forget about them, so I have to go out and buy more. I'm drowning in cards at the moment.

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  3. I hope your Christmas 'talk' went down well. Sounds like your son was enlightened anyway. Not a fan of crackers, I never get the end with the contents and the hats slip down over my face. I must have a small head.

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  4. Haha - I don't think you will get a job in the PR department of any Christmas Cracker company anytime soon, but isn't because they are so cr*p that we love them so :0 !!

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  5. Crackers are always rubbish. Having said that, you've reminded me to ask my sister to bring some out in her suitcase...

    hope the talk went well. Just don't sing the
    'rude' version of We Three Kings from Orient are (one in a taxi, one in car).

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  6. Looking forward to hearing how the classroom visit turns out!

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  7. I always buy my Christmas crackers in the Boxing Day sales.......

    Gill in Canada

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  8. Thanks for the chuckle, we have our Christmas Program on Monday night, can't wait!

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  9. Good luck with the Christmas event - I avoid those things like the plague and have never made a good PTA mom...

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  10. i find that when i'm speaking in public (ahem) i start off sounding like cushy butterfield and end up like maggie thatcher.
    good luck with your talk.
    ;-)

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  11. Clippy - but you're from the wrong side of the water to be Cushy. She was a Gateshead lass. As long as we don't end up sounding like Sting when he goes all posh - that's the main thing.

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  12. V funny post! How did the talk go? I just saw crackers today in Target for $14.99!!! Daylight robbery. So think we'll stick with reindeer ears and crazy glasses from the dollar store instead this year..

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  13. Oh brilliant post, very funny! You could always make the crackers - I'm saying this but I've never done it myself, of course. Not sure if you'd be able to buy the necessary items in the US. I remember once trying to make a proper English trifle while we were were staying with friends in Michigan and discovered you couldn't get custard powder, or proper jelly, or of course swiss roll. It was a disaster!

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