Calling all (brain) cells

I wrote recently about ridiculous celebrity statements - Demi Moore banging on about having used "highly trained medicinal leeches" to be exact. Now, I realise that these people are neither brain surgeons nor rocket scientists in their spare time, but sometimes I wonder if even they truly understand what they're saying.

Take Marilu Henner for instance. Best known as the lady taxi driver in the brilliant 70's TV series, "Taxi", she has recently taken to penning health and well-being type books. Don't get me wrong; at 56 she has a fab body and a great, age-appropriate, face so she must be doing something worth sharing. She's also very business-savvy and did quite well on the Donald's Celebrity Apprentice, but in describing her latest book she says,

"This book is about breaking your life down to a cellular level and saying "OK, what's working and what isn't?".

To be honest, I've now read this statement a number of times and I'm none the wiser. If I really were to break my life down to a cellular level we're presumably talking molecular biology here. I got my 'O' level regurgitating the life cycle of the Cabbage White butterfly, so this is clearly beyond me and is frankly, a bit of a disincentive. If, as I suspect, it's not meant to be taken quite so literally, then what the heck does she mean - "break it down to a cellular level"? I am having visions of us all in blob-like puddles all over the floor.
(Answers on a postcard or the back of a sealed down envelope please.)

A later tip in the interview advises readers to "Organise your purse, wallet, gym bag or desk. And every time you look at that, you'll say "Oh yes, I'm on a healthy life path".

Well, my purse, wallet or desk (sod the gym bag) could be organised within an inch of its life and that still wouldn't be in my first ten reactions. I would either congratulate myself on finding whatever was lost (as that's what usually prompts a tidy up) or take bets on how long it would stay that way, since my kids seem to live by the motto "What's mine is mine and what's mom's/mum's is there for the plundering". And really, - raise your hand if you have ever stood back admiringly at something in your daily life and said "Oh yes. I'm on a healthy life path". You'd either have to be in a TV advert/commercial or intent on jinxing your future health.

To give Marilu some credit, the interview does give the overall message that "Health is a total picture", which we know it is. A quick look at Hollywood reminds us that you can have a Pilates perfect bod coupled with woefully inadequate mental health. I just wish her editor had actually read the piece instead of just searching for typos and split infinitives.

To show that I'm not a total beeyatch and am deserving of the award recently given by Spinning the Wheel, you can read the whole interview at www.GreatHealthMag.com. The book is entitled "Wear Your Life Well" (Collins, 2008) a title which, I'm afraid, could also be up for some scrutiny in the future.