Friday, August 15, 2008

You kiss your mother with that mouth?



I caught this photo of dear old Paris on my MSN home page yesterday. Ugh! Ugh! and Ugh again! Given that every move this woman makes is artfully posed and designed for maximum hottie effect, what is this message? In fact, why do normally sane people think it's okay to kiss on the, well kisser, an animal known for licking its privates in public. Do horse lovers engage in this habit? Perhaps Mutterings can enlighten us, but I can't immediately picture a photo op of the likes of Zara Phillips posing like this with one of the Arabian stallions.

Now don't get me wrong, I love dogs. That's why we don't have one despite all three kids begging me on a daily basis to get one. They take a lot of looking after and I still have one child at home for part of the day. We live in the city; a city which doesn't allow dogs off the leash anywhere, ever, end of story - unless you want to pay the $200 fine every time. Oh there's one dog park somewhere, but it's full of dog poop! In addition, the temperature in Chicago in the winter sometimes drops so low that the weather people tell us not to take children and dogs out. Then where would we be? Climbing the walls I should think. Or away with the showfolk, as my gran used to say.

Anyway, I digress (but feel a lot better.) Back to dog-smoochers. I think it's because my mother was always adamant that we should not let the dog lick us on the face, that I have this vomit-urge when I see people almost french-kissing their pooches. Can you imagine if you were the person Paris was meeting for lunch right after this photo op? Even if she didn't want to french kiss you, would you want this mouth anywhere near your face immediately thereafter? Does she go off into a bathroom somewhere, rinse her mouth out with Listerene, re-apply her make-up and pretend it never happened?

Paris love, we know you don't have a beau at the mo' but please!!

12 comments:

  1. This trend of young, (relatively) attractive women and small dogs that they treat as surrogate boyfriends is just worrying all round. I saw a dog with trainers (sorry, sneakers) on the other day. I love dogs as much as the next (wo)man, but surely you've got to draw the line somewhere?!

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  2. I am not a fan of dogs kissing humans, as you know dogs lick their "you know whats!!" No thank you.

    Gill in Canada

    And I am a dog lover......

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  3. I too, love dogs. But they are dogs, not - as Britoutofwater observes - surrogate boyfriends, or children, or whathaveyou. I've always liked this line (from a movie involving Eskimos and huskies): "We do not play with our dogs. We are not their friends, we are their gods; that is why they obey us." But when you see some skinny socialite trotting after her pooch with a pooper-scooper then carrying it home in her handbag, you have to wonder who is in charge.

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  4. some folks just don't understand the concept of dogging at all..

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  5. I am glad that other people feel the same way as I do about kissing animals. I have always thought it is a vile habit. Every time I have turned my nose up at it I have been accused of not liking animals and not understanding them. Now I know I am not alone.... urrgh!

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  6. Ooh, perhaps we should try that line with the kids:
    "We are not your friends, we are your gods; that is why you will obey us."
    Hmmmmm.

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  7. I totally agree with you. I can't stand people getting all kissy face with their dogs, it's bloody disgusting. And my mum was like yours, "don't let the dog lick your face."

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  8. My dog perpetually gets into the cat litter tray & and licks his own bum. I love him to death but when he tries to lick me I turn my head quickly and say "yes, I love you too, now bugger off smelly chops". Works every time.

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  9. Oh yes........ I really agree with you! No licking on the face.

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  10. Ugh.. as you say, what have just they been licking. Paris should know better, shouldn't she? M xx

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