Sunday, July 12, 2009

Oh, just make it up!

Metropolitan Mum tagged me last week, and since my brain seems to have gone into hibernation, I thought I'd make use of the blog fodder and do it. However, when I popped back over to her blog, there was just this delightful photo of her 3 month baby, complete with pink frilly knickers. Very sweet, and I'm glad I'm past that stage as she's totally knackered.

Anyway, the tag wasn't there although I remember it was all about the number 8. So I'm just going to make a few 8-based things up and throw them at you:

8 items of clothing I should really get rid of:

- the pink MGM t-shirt I often work out in. There's not a thing wrong with it; in fact, I am thinking of writing to Hanes to report that it hasn't lost its shape or colour - after 18 years! Yes, that's right. I bought it the year after the Ball & Chain and I got married. I should really buy myself some decent workout stuff instead of wearing baggy t-shirts with ridiculous slogans on, (such as "Who are these kids and why are they calling my MOM?") but this one hangs quite nicely (ie. not gripping onto the lumpy bits) so it stays.

- my gray underwear collection. They didn't used to be gray, but well, you know how it is. I keep buying replacements, but none live up to the fit of the gray collection. They don't cut my belly in half, they're not visible through clothing and they haven't lost their elasticity. They are very, very gray though - to the point that I can't bring them to England any more because my mother (who does my laundry for some reason - she never did when I was living there) would throw them out and rush off to Marks to buy me some new ones.

- the gorgeous red silk pencil skirt I bought when I was the thinnest I have ever been (as a mother, that is). I could barely fit into it then and if I ever got back into it, I would probably look hideous as the weight comes off my face first, ageing me about ten years overnight. I don't know why I'm keeping it as I don't want to be thin enough to fit into it. Well, I would love to be that thin but as I said, I would get thin on my face and bum which isn't a good look once you reach a certain age. You know - the old-lady-with-flat-bum-look? Yeah, that one.

- the gingham apron I was forced to sew by hand at the age of about nine. It's yellow and white, and covered in cross-stitch. Hideous. It doesn't even hold fond memories as my teacher made me re-do the hem about five times. I must have visions of future generations saying "Look - you're great, great, great, grandmother, you know the batty one from England, made this erm, thing when she was little." As it is, it's scrunched up in a bag at the back of a shelf. If I attempt to take it out it'll probably crumble into a pile of fibres. Best leave it where it is.

- my point shoes. Every so often they get dragged out for some school show and tell or other. They are so old that the Plaster of Paris in the toes (yes, we used to stand upright on Plaster of Paris) now resembles chalk dust, and the soles have seperated into about 8 layers. However, when the Queenager did a physics project about the construction of different kinds of dance shoes, they were a marvellous prop for her. They are a bit smelly though. I think I must be hanging on to them in case anyone ever questions my dancing past, because I certainly don't look like a ballerina these days. (I have a fabulous pair of newish tap shoes, and with enough Pinot Grigio, often demonstrate the time step with the shuffle in the middle).

- I know this is cheating but - everything else. I have so many clothes that I loathe, that don't fit or quite simply aren't remotely flattering, I should just chuck the lot and buy new ones. That however, would mean I would have to go out shopping - picking through the impossibly young clothes to find something that is fitting for an over-25 year old, finding the fitting rooms, taking my clothes off, , realising that the top I'm trying on is, in fact, a short dress (no way), putting everything back on the hangers and stomping off, etc. etc. Bloody exhausting. How I used to shop ALL DAY before I was married is beyond me. Obviously I hadn't a thing in the world to do. It's even worse when the Queenager insists on coming cause she makes me come out of the fitting room and does a "What Not To Wear" appraisal on the whole spectacle, usually with an audience sniggering away in the other fitting rooms.

OK, enough about meme.

.

16 comments:

  1. ahh the gingham apron. I made one and cross stitched it too. wonder if it was a north east thing? never kept it though. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I remember the gingham apron thing - I can see it now, although I haven't thought of it in years...

    And I never knew you were a dancer - I would keep those evocative shoes too, if I had been...

    And sometimes I am glad of a Teen Terrorist Son and not a Queenager Daughter - I get enough of the clothes critique as it is... "Mum, you're never thinking of wearing that, are you?! My friends might see you!" B*stard ;) x

    ReplyDelete
  3. The gingham apron brought back bitter sweet memories as I let my *friend* bully me into choosing green and I wanted blue which SHE chose for herself! Why didn't I just have blue too! Cos she said I was copying her and I was really upset whenever I got my apron out! I wonder where it is now!
    I expect you regret mentioning the gingham apron memories as the comments are going to clog up your comment box.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Blog fodder" -- I like that. Now list eight things that can be used as "blog fodder." You first ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with you, I hate trying on clothes in stores so much that I buy stuff and then get things home and discover if they actually fit and flatter some time along the way. Normally not until I've worn something all day can I ascertain that it's horrid, and then it has to go to the charity shop (or even the bin) because it's too worn to take back. Grrrrr.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for pointing out that I am knackered. I am actually so knackered, I have to put on pink frilly knickers on my baby to remember she's a girl.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I remember the gingham apron too, particularly because the teacher made me sew backwards (I'm left-handed) so that it looked as if I had sewn it right-handed! Naturally enough, it put me off sewing completely. I know what you mean about the clothes - all the things I wear are hanging outside my wardrobe.. the things I never wear are inside! Weird or what? M :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I enjoyed that list. I can now picture you in grey underwear, red pencil skirt, baggy t-shirt, apron on top, pirouetting on your point shoes. A lovely image.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Crazy eights are going around and around - every blog I visit has them. I did them too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I know I should be wearing endlessly glamorous frilly colourful matching underwear to celebrate my new slimmer appearance but comfort ( with accompanying greyness) wins everytime. Must be our age girl

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nothing wrong with grey underwear, so long as it is M&S!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now, all those images I had of you being a matching undies, sex goddess type of Expat Mum are shot to pieces! I know what you mean about the thin face flat bum thing not looking good on older ladies. Often battle with that myself, so I have to eat lots of Maltesers so I don't get too wizened looking!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Matching undies!? Who has time for that?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I completely redid my wardrobe a couple of years back, and it's already back to... a complete mess. Don't bother!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Even has a guy blogger, I totally dig you. Awesome stuff. I'll definitely be visiting you again. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. M&S knickers...it's funny but they are SO part of the British psyche aren't they?

    A Hadriana award for you over at mine!

    ReplyDelete

The more the merrier....

Blog Archive