Monday, September 28, 2009

Make Sure you get my Best Side

Apart from swanning off to England and the Med this summer, I forgot to mention a few other things.

I have been co-hosting the Pond Parleys blog for a while now with fellow author and American expat, Mike Harling. Although both of us are happily married (and I've met his lovely wife), we hooked up bloggy-wise a few years ago and we e-mail probably more than we e-mail anyone else - usually panicking about the topic for our weekly blog post or tackling the challenge of publicizing our books. It's one of those e-mail relationships where you think you know the person so well that you almost sign off with a few xxx's. So far I have restrained myself.

Well, this summer we finally met up for a pint. Mike's account of our meeting is here, and very enjoyable it was too. Once again, I was interrogated about my 'date', this time from my aunt with whom I was staying. The teenagers crossed their arms and nodded judgementally (if that's a word) behind her. I couldn't have felt more guilty if I'd been caught leaning out the bathroom window with a fag. (Americans, please, it's not what you think!)I have become so adept at dodging the "blog date" inquisition that I now tend to say that "it's someone I write with", (although my grammar would leave much in question). Unfortunately, the kids are not fooled and made my cousin drop me off at the pub. That he left before I even walked through the pub door rather defeated the purpose but it certainly made me feel like a wanton teenager.

Up north (or "oop north" as southerners seem to think we say), I had lunch with another bloggy friend. I met her last year and although she no longer blogs, we've kept in touch so it was perfectly legit to tell my mother she was a friend. (Okay, so if my mother was meeting people she'd met on the Internet, I'd have a fit. I can hardly expect her to be any less fitty, can I?.) Friend works for the big newspaper in town, and she asked if I'd like to be in the paper, or something like that.

"Fine", I replied, thinking she wanted me to contribute something to a piece. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well we'll write about you and put some photos in", came the response.

"Oh", I said.

Next morning I did a phone interview about, well, me. I scheduled it for early morning to make sure the snarky teenagers were still in bed. Then we all trooped off to Newcastle City Centre for photographs. I dressed quite nicely but thought, for some reason, that the photos would be head and shoulders, or at least nothing past the hip. But no. Of the two that appeared in the full page spread (what on earth could they have to say) one exposed the full whiteness of my legs. This was before I came back from Ibiza with the sun-goddess tan (not).


The photographer (a lovely feller) said he could "bronze it up", but clearly he was joking.
I'm now beginning to see why the Hollywood lot are so obsessed with their looks. I think if I had papparazzi following me everywhere, I too would emerge from my house fully made up, weighing less than my kids and giving them my best angle.

21 comments:

  1. Dear Expat Journalist - you have great legs! very shapely. I've sunk into having "cankles", you have nowt to worry about.

    And from this Kiwi (NZ and OZ are the skin cancer capitals of the world) please remember, there is no such thing as a healthy tan!

    Love reading your writing, Michelle

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  2. Great shoes though... (that is to say, nothing wrong with the rest you either and - oh, you know what I mean...)

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  3. Weighing less than your kids - chuckle.

    I'm going to use that friend line (although no one will believe me). I outed myself as having a blog to someone, and I finally found out you're all not joking when you say people look as if you confess to something dirty.

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  4. I think you look absolutely darlin', darlin! White legs...why that's a sign of class around here! Southern Girls had to avoid red sunburned skin in days gone by, lol...and as I burn quite easily, I'm mostly wrapped head to toe...and I never once thought anything out of the ordinary about you and your date...I mean your blogging pal...
    Sandi

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  5. Nice photo Toni. I don't think I would have had the nerve to post a full body shot like that but you can pull it off.

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  6. damn- where's my autograph book now that I need it? and in the toon too

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  7. Great picture and in a skirt too. Never easy to pose in a skirt!

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  8. Great photo and you are young enough to flaunt those legs!
    Tell the photographer to Bronze Off!

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  9. "weighing less than my kids" tooo damn funny!

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  10. Great photo! And great meeting up with you finally. xxx ;)

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  11. You have great legs. But I think the photographer should have posed you so that your face was the main point of focus - much more interesting!

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  12. You look lovely ... and very tall!

    I always feel weird telling hubby I am going to meet a bloggy friend, but now he just expects it. Las time I took hime along when we met Mothership in SB ... (she does a mean s'more).

    -A Modern Mother

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  13. I think the angle of the photograph makes my legs look longer than they are because I'm only 5.7".
    Anyway, I need to move on from this photo and think of another blog pst toot sweet.

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  14. From one expat mum to another - hi! I just found your blog (where have I been?!)

    Great! The pic is great too. Brits aren't supposed to be tanned! ;)

    Cheers
    Holli (a displaced Canadian) in Ghana

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  15. You look very good. Very Nicole Kidman. Tans are passe, any way.....

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  16. One last comment - the Queenager was at a routine medical check up yesterday. She was lying on her back, belly exposed as the doc manipulated her internal organs (it seemed). Doc then stated that the Queenager must be "the lightest" patient he'd seen in a while. She's quite thin so we both thought he meant that, but no - he was commenting on her skin colour. AND that was with her Ibiza tan. Tee hee.

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  17. Great shoes and ONLY 5'7"???!!! You look fabulous!
    PS noted the headless dog yet?

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  18. Ha! So I was right to be jealous of MikeH! And to think you pooh-poohed the idea as if I was just a silly old man. Well, I know where I stand now, buster, so don't you come crying around here anymore. I have other fry to fish, and I am not old, right? x

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  19. SB - What on earth are you talking about ya eejit!

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  20. Great shoes though... (that is to say, nothing wrong with the rest you either and - oh, you know what I mean...)
    Make website india

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  21. If you get back to the NE, we must meet up, woth Saz too, EPMum! I'd make you feel better about your pallor - You have very Celtic paleness, I've chicken-flesh!

    I was stopped by that very same newspaper, by The Monument, and asked about stuff that I knew a lot about - I was doing really well, until she said, 'For the feature, we need to take a picture of you?'

    I'm still running now!

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