Things We Need to See the Back Of (apparently)

I've subscribed to a new consumer magazine called "ShopSmart;)" - not quite sure why really as I'm not a great shopper, nor even a huge magazine reader. I can only assume the yearly rate was too much of a bargain, coupled with the promise of "consumer awareness". Or something.

In their March issue (hang on, March??), there's a piece about products that changed our lives. Cell and smart phones, Google (if you can call that a product), digital cameras; the usual stuff. More interesting is the sidebar with the top ten products women hope won't survive another decade. Ring any bells? :

Super low-waist pants (ie. trousers) and jeans - Amen to that. You'd think that since the waist expands as one matures, they'd be a blessing but who needs super low waists? Even on the very young, if they have any body fat at all, it comes splurging out over the top and is not attractive. Perhaps everyone will get fed up with looking at fat backs.

Fake tans - I have yet to come across a fake tan that looks natural, doesn't streak and stays on for more than a day and a half. I thought I had found the perfect one last summer (for I am one of the fairer types who needs fake tan even when it's mid-summer) but the Mediterrenean sea thought otherwise.

Reality TV - just shoot me now. I can't think of a single reality TV show that I want to watch. I don't count American Idol as 'reality TV' - it's a competition.

Fishnet stockings - A handful can get away with these, but most of us look like, well, hookers. The few times I've worn then I found them very uncomfortable on the old feet.

Thong underwear - Yuck, but as long as you do your own laundry, whatever floats your boat. In the January mag it warns that "Snug-fitting thongs rub against the vaginal area and can eventally lead to an itchy, uncomfortable build-up of skin called hyperkeratosis". Eeuuww! Thong wearers, don't come crying to me when you get the build-up thingy.

Huge SUVs (4 x 4s) - why people still drive these gas guzzlers..... . It's not even me being green - why drive something that gets you 8 mph? Just stand on the street corner and hand out dollar bills.

Skinny jeans - have to disagree there. As someone with little shape and not-too-fat thighs, I like skinny jeans.

Dark nail polish - not ever being able to get ten nails all the same length at the same time, I usually don't wear nail polish. When my nails are fit to be painted, I can only wear pale colours. I'm way too picky to put up with the imperfections that are more visible with darker polish, but I love seeing tanned hands with dark polish on other women. (The tanned hands are obviously not an option for me.)

Crocs - Yup. I don't care how comfortable they are. They beg the question - Why?

Giant handbags - Giant handbags are a lifesaver when you have carry-on limits. Sometimes I feel like Mary Poppins with the stuff I pull out of mine. It takes about two minutes for airport scanners to identify everything I take on board. They are hell on the old shoulders however. A tip for buying a giant handbag - if it feels heavy before you put anything in it, forget it.

Has this covered everything we'd like to see the back of, or did they leave anything out?

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