Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Reasons my Teens Laugh at Me

1.  -  my sneeze. Admittedly, when it's allergy induced (as opposed to a trifling cold) it can be a bit, erm, dramatic, but at my age, if you try to "control" your sneezes, you end up blowing a sinus and pee-ing a little. So, it will remain - Aye- ya-hoo, with the emphasis on the YA.

2. -  my pronunciation of banana, tomato and half. Get over it. I'm English and always have been. This is no surprise, and you both sounded like me until you were about 5 years old. Next time, I am going to post the pre-school video clips on You Tube and then we'll see who sounds "funny". Mwa ha ha!

3. - my jeans. OK, they tend to only sell "stretch" jeans these days. Trouble is, on me at least, they get bigger and bigger all day so that when you come home from school the butt is somewhere around the back of my knees. It's either that or I'll loaf around in sweats all day and get fatter and fatter? Pick one.

4. - my keys. Or lack thereof. The teens actually stand in front of me and do an oh-so-funny impersonation of me with my keys in my hands frantically asking "Where are my keys? Where did I put my keys?" But listen, oh smart ones, when you walk in one of two doors, carrying back packs, violins, food and a million and one other things, and your three (comparatively unencumbered) kids hurtle past you, shedding clothes on their way, it's a bloody miracle you make it in one piece. Yes, there is a hanger for keys at both the front and back doors, but sometimes, just sometimes, I collapse before I get there. (And don't even compare me to the Ball & Chain, who enters in the back, ignores everyone until he has walked through the house, into our study, deposited keys and other accoutrements in their correct place, and then says hello. I don't have that luxury.)

5. - My baking. OK, so I bought those little ready to bake bread rolls the other day and, in front of everyone, followed the directions to a T, and they still came out like hockey pucks - but it's not funny. It's a manufacturing error, or a typo on the directions. You all saw how well I followed the rules, and yet was foiled again. Just be glad I don't try to make your birthday cakes!

6. - I can't understand their texts and end up texting "?????" back. I mean, it's not even short hand is it? A lot of the words have numbers in the middle like L8tr, which seems to mean "later", which in turn is short for "See you later". And of course, I seem to have been the last person on the entire planet who thought LOL was "Lots of Love". I couldn't understand why complete strangers were being quite so friendly.

But I'm having the last laugh. They used to make fun of me for sleeping in till about - gasp- 9am on Saturday mornings. Now? If they make an appearance before 10.30am it's only to complain how tired they are before they lie down on the sofa and nod back off. Tee hee.

.

27 comments:

  1. well l know where this post will end up and this theme could run and run..l'll make a list too....FAB and so true!!!

    saz x

    ReplyDelete
  2. A friend of mine confided in me that a business colleague was signing his emails with lol. She thought he was being very inappropriate and declaring his love for her until I pointed out he was actually laughing out loud.

    L8tr!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ooooh, I just snorted at #3 because my jeans do exactly the same!! My boys like to tell me how flattering my plumbers is ... whatever that means! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha! I think you should *totally* put videos of them saying "tom-ah-to" etc on You Tube!

    Mwa hahaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh the joys of teens! I vote for the You Tube videos as well, mortify them into submission I say.

    As for the keys, I just got one of those jumbo clips for my work keys and they now hang from my belt hook all day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. After I did a post a few weeks ago on 'expat parents, are we cool or an embarrassment' (or something like that) and found out I was more or less cool, I suspect there are still things my kids laugh at me about but I block them out in favour of blind belief in my coolness. I do say 'garage' the American way slightly loud, on purpose just to get some sort of reaction but no one ever says anything. I guess I'll have to ask them and like fat, frumpy and fifty above I may post one as well--if there's ANYthing they're embarrassed about that is... LOL! (thats the first time Ive used LOL!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. ha ha - i have only just found out that LOL means something other than lots of love and I seriously thought I was cool. Wrong again.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The boys have a shower curtain which shows all the text signs and what they mean. I did a post on Mad Manic Mamas but I see I will have to find it and share it with us "cool" mothers who really aren't!

    ReplyDelete
  9. If they make an appearance before 10.30am it's only to complain how tired they are before they lie down on the sofa and nod back off.

    Wow!! heaven

    My God roll on roll on...right now the two of them are up at six chattering like chipmunks and thunderung up and down stairs (they are 6 and 9)

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is quite good, except I also have the 6 year old talking my head off well before that!

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Special One sneezes about eight times in succession without a single pause. I've always been amazed, and not a little horrified. And now my four month old daughter seems to do exactly the same thing - I am destined to be surrounded by sneezing for the rest of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sometimes I pronounce tomato ta-mah-to just so other people here know what the hell I am taking about.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like that they can laugh with you. To me, that feels like family.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kat - I just do without! I can't bring myself to say To-may-do. It sounds so bad coming out of my mouth.
    Mwa - Oh yes. I'm like a stand up comic sometimes but they do think I'm funny, in a saddo sort of way.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey, love this post.. And, SO identify with the jeans thing.. and the kids. My two sons, who are old enough to know better, being 24 and 28 love to be embarrassed by me.. and find me very un-hip at times!

    ReplyDelete
  16. The years with my daughter as a teen just flashed before me as I read your list. YOU will live through this my dear, and shock of shocks - in their 20's you will suddenly become so very wise and they will ask your advice and depend upon your support. So carry on, and know that payback is in the years ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Expat - Fabulous post that gave me a laugh. I don't get the text words either. A friend of mine kept saying "Mwah" and I was totally baffled till she told me it's the sound you make when you kiss a girlfriend goodbye.
    I bet your kids think you are secretly cool.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hilarious. My boys are well off being teens but I think they're already doing some of thoese things. Weep. God help me when they actually get there.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for stopping by Writer Abroad. Happy to discover your blog and book as well. I don't have kids yet, but I can imagine that if they grow up speaking Swiss German they will certainly be laughing at my crappy attempts at the language.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Texting...yep...with you there. I like to sleep in as well but..that never happens these days. Ah well. But! we may manage it next week as my mum is having them for 2 nights. Yeah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. BTW...did you see that programme on Sting and his Winter CD over Christmas? I don't know whether to laugh or cry over that one. He does take himself so seriously. I do like him but this may be a step too far. Bless him!

    Check him out: Wallsend, Tynemouth Priory and Durham Cathedral and Quayside.....hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  22. No, that one hasn't reached us yet. At least though, he's moved on from that terrible posher than posher he used to try and is not afraid to sound like a Geordie! And he's shaved the beard!

    ReplyDelete
  23. LOL, as they say.

    How do you say 'half'?

    ReplyDelete
  24. wotcha matey its not your fault they cant say tomato could be worse I have geordie grandchildren!

    ReplyDelete
  25. please tell the lady that the way to say half is--properly1

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well at least they haven't got to the stage where they don't want to be seen out with you!
    Those texts.... yes.... I'd like to know what they mean!

    Nuts in May

    ReplyDelete
  27. I still use LOL as an abbreviation for lots of laugh.

    ReplyDelete

The more the merrier....

Blog Archive