Friday, December 16, 2011

Geordie Poem - The Translation

As promised, here's the official translation of the Geordie Epic.


It's me ageeyan hinnies, A bet yiz forgot
It's Buggerallmoney - d'yiz care or wot?
Av had a bad year - yiz wouldn't believe
A just hoowop next year's got nowt worse up its sleeve

Hello Friends, it's me once again; I rather suspect you'd forgotten about me
It's the financially embarrassed one, but you're probably not too concerned about my plight
This past year has been particularly troublesome for me - quite astonishing really
I do hope Fortune smiles on me in 2009 rather than delivering more slings and arrows


Forst there woz wor lass; she chucked iz in June
Am alreet noo, but a woz a bit doon
Iz everyone sez, there's more fish in the sea
But somehoo neebody fancies me

My first trauma was splitting up with my beloved girlfriend in June**
I'm fine and dandy now but I was a sad bunny at the time
As is common knowledge, there will be other suitable partners
But I"m not looking my best at the moment, it would seem


Then, a gorra black eye in a fight
A smacked someone's gob, hell's bells worra sight
A didn't desorve to be hoyed in the cells
Ind me mam fund oot - someone alwiz tells

Then I was unfortunately caught up in a brawl, sustaining injuries to my eye
I must admit to hitting some chappie in the mouth, leaving him with a bit of a bruise
But I insist my behaviour did not warrant a night at her Majesty's Pleasure
Unfortunately, my dear mother found out about the incident; wonder who the little bird could have been


Me mam hoyed iz oot so A kipped at me meeyat's
He was deed good ind helped iz get streeyat
Noo Av gorra flat of me oowan
Am alreet for spon; Av peeyad off me loowan

My mother and I agreed that I should share accommodation with a good friend
He was unfailingly helpful and gave me lots of advice
Now I have my own little pied a terre, and am no longer struggling financially
Having cleared things up with the nice man at the bank


Am chuffed last years' ower A woz gettin a bit sick
it's teken it oot iv iz, even tho' Am thick
Al hev a gud Christmas ind treat mesell well
A suggest yiz al dee the seeyam iz well.

I am thrilled that the year is finally drawing to a close, it was rather a beast
I may not be very bright but I still feel mentally drained
This Christmas is going to be topping and I'll treat myself royally
I suggest all you good people do the same


Mind how yiz gan noo.

Do take care of yourselves.

** At the time, I wrote this as a male, because of the fight scene. These days it's more likely to be the Geordie women getting smashed and causing fights!

3 comments:

  1. Loved reading this - as my best (and oldest) friend in London is a Geordie lass, this really rang a bell.

    LCM x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha brilliant! my favourite wind up conversation at parties used to be 'Did you know that Gazza is actually Bamber Gascoigne's son?' and people would be like 'no, really' until I'd eventually admit I was yanking their chain!!

    ReplyDelete

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