Monday, April 2, 2012

I Cook in the Nude

I couldn't write this post fast enough after I read that K Kardashian cooks in the nuddy for her husband. (Can't remember which Kardashian it is, but does it matter, quite frankly?)

I can't really imagine what the Ball & Chain would think were he to come wandering in to find me wearing only my "Does my Bum Look big in This?" apron and a silly grin. And since I know the Queenager now reads the blog to keep up with life back at the manor, I'll spare her the vomit-inducing mental picture. Come to think of it, bets are on that he wouldn't even notice.

No. What really appeals is the fact that the remaining children at the family dinner table will be so engrossed/horrified at my appearance, they won't actually look at what's on the plates in front of them. They will sit there, mouths wide open, jaws on the table, silently shoveling food in and wondering what kind of mental state I'm in.

And maybe that way they'll eat  - if only to escape the horror before them.



Hmmm.  

13 comments:

Carole said...

LOL :) You had me there for a moment!

Maggie May said...

Well I'm sure my family would be even more horrified if I did that!
Might be painful to get splashed with hot fat!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

expatlogue said...

Hmmmm, I use fresh green chilli in a lot of my cooking - so far, the worst place I've ever had chilli-burn is under my finger-nails. It lasted for two days.
I'll be keeping my clothes on!

MsCaroline said...

I absolutely cannot resist saying this, and I apologize in advance, and ordinarily I'm not one for puns, but..... it sounds to me like a recipe for disaster.

Expat mum said...

Boom-tish!
You're all making me laugh!

Rob-bear said...

I dropped over from Irene's blog (The most splendid day). My suggestion was going to be that cooking without clothing could be dangerous to your body. But that's been well covered. So to speak.

MikeH said...

Well...wear socks, at lest. You don't want to catch a cold ;)

Trish @ Mums Gone To... said...

I suppose if you kept your pinny on then your front would be protected from splashes. Just don't bend over though ;-)

Iota said...

Yes, pinny ON! Imagine frying sausages and them splattering over your tummy - ouch!

Expat mum said...

Mike - heated floor. No need for socks.
And ladies, yes those splashes are a bugger. Large pinny I think! (Some might say very large pinny).

Suburbia said...

OMG when I was about 10 I realised my parents had done this one hot summer morning when I was still in bed. Kinky eh? And still not one I'd want to dwell on!!

Great post!

Clippy Mat said...

Mother of Mercy. Sister Mackin couldn't handle your hemline two inches above your knee, she'd be spinning in her grave if she thought you were cooking in the buff!
Two demerits for your house.
;-)

Expat mum said...

Surburbia - Just Eeeuuwww!
Clippy - I've already done my 3 Hail Mary's and a Marguerita!

Blog Archive