Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Consciously Uncoupling

I'm sorry - I just had to blog about this new phrase du jour - consciously uncoupling.

For those of you who don't read the sleaze tabloids or follow Gywenth Paltrow's blog (which I don't), you won't know that she's broken up with her husband of 11 years, singer Chris Martin. It's sad. They have two young children and it probably wasn't an easy decision to come to.

Unfortunately, in true Gwyneth style, she not only put their announcement on her web site, she called their separation a "conscious uncoupling". According to one expert, it means - "a proven process for lovingly completing a relationship that will leave you feeling whole and healed and at peace". 

Cue hysterical laughter on the Internet. Twitter was on fire and some of it was really funny. Let me share a few -

- Consciously Uncoupling is the most Gwyneth thing ever Gwynethed. 

- Gwyneth is referring to her divorce as Consciously Uncoupling which affirms my suspicion that she is an Operating System.

- Me and Gwyneth are sort of similar in that she and Chris are Consciously Uncoupling and in college I did a lot of "unconscious coupling".

- I am really a bit sad about Gwyneth and Chris splitting up but the statement that they're Consciously Uncoupling is making it easier.

- Consciously Uncoupling is now the most pretentious English phrase. Sorry "I don't own a TV" your time is up.

- Conscious Uncoupling is the new Kale.

- Well now I have a new term for my relationship with milk.

- Consciously Uncoupling makes me think of a caravan being separated from a car, but really carefully. 

Anyway, lest I be thought of as a callous B, I don't celebrate their separation. I don't know her enough to say I don't like her, but her public persona grates a little. I like his music, but again I don't know him at all.

But you have to admit, some of those Tweets are funny!


  1. I've just seen it announced on our TV dinner time news.
    Uncoupling is definitely to do with caravans , trailers and train freight!!!
    And how could you uncouple in any way without being conscious!
    Completely unnecessary phrase altogether.

    Completely bonkers some people.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

  2. Agree Maggie. One of our local newscasters here has just said "Conspicuous Uncoupling" which I think hits the nail on the head.

  3. *bangs head on table*

    Good grief. What next?
    Unknown disengagement?
    Disavowed nuptials?
    Pretentious twatism?

    Don't answer. Think we are on the same page anyway.
    Or rather, we are 'psychosomatically united'.

    LCM x

  4. I know she gets a lot of (unfair) hate in the press but honestly she doesn't know when to stop does she? How to not get lots of negative coverage about the fact you're splitting up. Use a pretentious phrase that everyone then makes fun of. Gwynnie, get yourself a new PR person!

  5. Gwyneth who?

    Mike--consciously uncoupling from tabloid nonsense

  6. Oh please. Whatever happened to "We are separating and we'd like you to respect our privacy?"

  7. It's a terrible term to relate to marriage, but I'm loving all of the wittiness that has come out of the term. I feel like a majority of my time in college revolved around Conscious Uncoupling ;)

  8. It has to be said that our Gwynnie is a source of endless entertainment, even when she's going through something as tough as divorce. You couldn't make it up!

    I thought it was only trains and trucks that uncoupled, or is that because I watched so many Thomas the Tank Engine videos when my sons were little? Caravans too, yes, definitely.

  9. What a pain in the arse.
    She does my head in.
    Silly cow.


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