Sunday, June 29, 2014

Ears getting bigger - and other depressing facts about ageing

OK, so age is just a number, you're as young as you feel. Yada yada. Yes, you can help feel younger (and by that I mean physically fitter and stronger) with exercise and activity, but aren't we fooling ourselves if we deny the down-sides to ageing?

I read this blog the other day about being over 50. Do pop over; Fran, the blogger, raises some hilarious questions. She also alerted me to some issues I'd never really considered, such as ears getting bigger.

What the what? While never having been called Dumbo, my ears aren't exactly small and the right one sticks out so much more than the left one I can never wear my hair up. Or when I do I have to go for the just-got-out-of-bed look, with more hair left out than is actually swept up. A look I can never quite get away with, for some reason. I think it has to be coupled with floaty clothes, and I'm more of a jeans and shirt girl.

Fran also wonders if, given that we put things in the fridge to keep them fresh, a daily stint in there ourselves might help? And really, why not? Instead of the torture of saunas and hot tubs (which, by the way, are a veritable petri dish of nasty bacteria), we could sit for an hour a day in a climate just cool enough to rejuvenate but not cold enough to cause hypothermia. Fran is looking for volunteers and I would, but my fridge shelves just aren't wide enough and I'm terribly claustrophobic!

Another depressing thing about ageing is the bounce back; or lack of really. Time was when you could bang into something or fall over (which we didn't, cause we were young) and it wouldn't usually cause massive bruising or take three weeks to recover from. Last week, I was doing a bit of gardening, and one of the large stones of my walled garden effort, wobbled as I knelt on it. I did a slow face plant into the astillbes, (what must the neighbors have thought?) grazing my knee and also my toe, on which the damn stone landed. What would once have been a couple of scabs is now a hurty knee and toe into the bargain. I can't wear closed shoes (but it's not broken) and every time I forget about my knee and kneel down, it really really hurts.

Talking about gardening, I also managed to give myself tennis elbow from excessive planting about a month ago. It has to be the gardening, as I haven't picked up a tennis racquet in about thirty years, but my tennis friends all recognize the symptoms. Unfortunately, despite rest and a ban on planting, the elbow is getting worse, not better, and a visit to the doc's in on the cards. At the moment, unless I get the angle right, I can't lift a thing. (Incidentally, the ex-Queenager laughed till she almost died at what was apparently my most English expression ever - "I think I have tennis elbow from too much gardening. I can't even lift up my tea." Seriously? I wanted sympathy, not ridicule.)

So while I may not have too many wrinkles for my age, the rest of me appears to be falling apart just the same.



  1. Ageing sucks no matter how you look at it. I have suffered from tennis elbow - despite having NEVER picked up a racket. And I can probably save you a trip to the doctor. Just go to the drug store and pick up a brace like this one...

    If you go to the doctor, this is what they will probably give you. I wore it for a few days (weeks?) and it cleared it right up.

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. Thanks Gigi. I was looking at these and couldn't decide so went for an elasticized thing. Ended up having to take it off though as I couldn't get it tight enough to work without all my fingers going blue! Will try these.

  4. I am not in any danger of getting gardening elbow, that's for sure.

  5. Oh dear........ and you are so young!
    Unfortunately ears do seem to grow for ever. One of mine has always been closer to my head than the other and is half an inch lower than the other which makes wearing glasses a bother.
    So I'm asymmetrical as well!
    Hairs seem to sprout from nowhere and those bruises.........
    Sagging skin is worse than wrinkles! Hope I'm not putting you off!
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

  6. Please watch this video, it changed the way I see gender issues and feminism:
    If you liked it then vote it up on reddit because more people need to see this.

  7. I hate to break it to you, but ears aren't the only thing that keeps growing. After I read this, I Googled it (always a mistake) and it turns out that your nose keeps growing (or drooping, or both) too. And a whole bunch of other depressing things happen that I won't even bother to mention. *sigh*

  8. Well, ladies, to paraphrase Mark Twain (or maybe it was Will Rogers...), growing old is better than the alternative.

    I would not, however, turn down a "forever young" pill if it would get rid of the aches, pains, and thinning hair.

  9. I think not being able to life up your tea would be the worst thing ever!

  10. I have a 'big' birthday coming up very soon so am watching my ears with great interest now. Fran's blog post was very funny. Am off to have a stint in the fridge...


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