Reading Wife in the North the other day, I gave her some advice on how to approach those blue days we all get from time to time. Sometimes it works and sometimes you feel like a complete idiot, which for some of us is probably par for the course. Anyway, I sometimes pretend I'm in a commercial/advert or even better, one of those Jilly Cooper type novels complete with crusty bread, good cheese and a rampant libido. Well, crusty bread anyway, there's no such thing as good cheese in the US.
The next time you're fed up to the back teeth with an element, or all of your life, try a few of these tried and tested scenarios:
1. To overcome the exhausting treadmill of getting kids out the door in the morning:
- pretend you're in one of those ads for woman's health pills or energy drinks.
"I have so much going on in my life, I have to be able to keep up", as big hairy dog plus four kids run past, knocking lovingly prepared fresh orange juice off the table. You of course, smile indulgently, then bound after them, showing off your store-bought, limitless supplies of energy, as well as an amazing figure and glossy hair. All at 8 in the morning. There will of course, be a beautiful, open-plan kitchen in the background, with brilliant sunshine streaming in through open french doors. Obviously not filmed in the UK.
2. To overcome the boredom of preparing dinner in the evening:
- pretend you're one of those master chefs, (preferably with a bosom like Nigella). No? No, that one doesn't work for me either - cooking for kids who will ask what it is or sift out all the vegetables can never be disguised as anything but soul-destroying. Have a glass of wine while you're stirring.
3. To overcome the rage when faced with a living room that looks like a bomb site:
- start writing your first novel.
"Right, that's it. I've had enough", thought Katya (or some other fabulous name) murdurously, as she swept up the piles of sweaty gym clothes/towers of Lego. "I was born for something better than this"..... .Just make sure you remember you're only mapping out a novel, and don't go acting on your murdurous thoughts.
4. To overcome the tedium of being stuck in the car for half of your life:
- interview yourself. (That's if there's no one else in the car.) Just stick your phone headset in or pretend you're using a hands-free phone and start yakking. Any topic will do, just pretend a famous, hard-hitting interviewer is grilling you about some current event, or asking for your take on some "issue". If you're like me, you'll be surprised at how fired up you can become, and it certainly takes your mind off the traffic. In a good way of course.
5. To Overcome the sheer boredom of doing laundry:
- sorry, the only thing that can possibly improve this situation is to park the ironing board in front of the TV. Better still, buy a press - it takes half the time and I promise you'll stop burning your knuckles on the top bit after a couple of weeks.
Please feel free to add to these brilliant suggestions. We need all the help we can get.
PS. My horoscope today says: Today, dear Virgo, don't be too surprised if you have difficulty getting into a work frame of mind. It's likely with the day's energy that you would rather daydream than get into the real world. As an air sign, you are susceptible to daydreaming and taking imagination trips. Consider making a list of everything that needs to get done to help you focus. This will help you to meet your short-term objectives and you can take it easier this evening.
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