I know you've been on the edge of your seats waiting for my translation so as promised, here it is. Actually here's me at North Shields fish quay first. The place at the top left (North Shields/Tynemouth) is where I want my ashes chucked off BTW.
It's me ageeyan hinnies, A bet yiz forgot
It's Buggerallmoney - d'yiz care or wot?
Av had a bad year - yiz wouldn't believe
A just hoowop next year's got nowt worse up its sleeve
Hello Friends, it's me once again; I rather suspect you'd forgotten about me
It's the financially embarrassed one, but you're probably not too concerned about my plight
This past year has been particularly troublesome for me - quite astonishing really
I do hope Fortune smiles on me in 2009 rather than delivering more slings and arrows
Forst there woz wor lass; she chucked iz in June
Am alreet noo, but a woz a bit doon
Iz everyone sez, there's more fish in the sea
But somehoo neebody fancies me
My first trauma was splitting up with my beloved girlfriend**
I'm fine and dandy now but I was a sad bunny at the time
As is common knowledge, there will be other suitable partners
But I"m not looking my best at the moment, it would seem
Then, a gorra black eye in a fight
A smacked someone's gob, hell's bells worra sight
A didn't desorve to be hoyed in the cells
Ind me mam fund oot - someone alwiz tells
Then I was unfortunately caught up in a brawl, sustaining injuries to my eye
I must admit to hitting some chappie in the mouth, leaving him with a bit of a bruise
But I insist my behaviour did not warrant a night at her Majesty's Pleasure
Unfortunately, my dear mother found out about the incident; wonder who the little bird could have been
Me mam hoyed iz oot so A kipped at me meeyat's
He was deed good ind helped iz get streeyat
Noo Av gorra flat of me oowan
Am alreet for spon; Av peeyad off me loowan
My mother and I agreed that I should share accommodation with a good friend
He was unfailingly helpful and gave me lots of advice
Now I have my own little pied a terre, and am no longer struggling financially
Am chuffed last years' ower A woz gettin a bit sick
it's teken it oot iv iz, even tho' Am thick
Al hev a gud Christmas ind treat mesell well
A suggest yiz al dee the seeyam iz well.
I am thrilled that the year is finally drawing to a close, it was rather a beast
I may not be very bright but I still feel mentally drained
This Christmas is going to be topping and I'll treat myself royally
I suggest all you good people do the same
Mind how yiz gan noo.
Do take care of yourselves.
** At the time, I wrote this as a male, because of the fight scene. These days it's more likely to be the Geordie women setting smashed and causing fights!