Thursday, 10 September 2009

Don't judge me, but......

........I can't believe this day has finally come.

It's only taken sixteen years, six months and twenty two days. (My doesn't time fly.)

Some of you will be aghast that I'm not weeping. Indeed some will already have posted about this momentous day, and not in a celebratory way. You will have shed a quiet tear, tiptoed into certain bedrooms to breathe in the scent of stuffed animals and lovingly retrieve items of clothing casually tossed in a heap on the floor. (I've always said I should stay away from the novel-genre and stick to non-fiction. There's your proof.)

No. I'm afraid after sixteen years etc. I've long passed the grieving stage. You see, tomorrow marks the first day in sixteen years, six months, and twenty two days (did I mention that?) that I am ALONE IN THE HOUSE. Yahoo! Little Guy is starting 1st Grade (Year 2) which goes on all day. None of that picking him up at 11.45 malarkey.

Given the vast age difference between the little guy and his two teenage siblings, plus that fact that they don't start full time school here until they're about 11, I have had a small human in the house for all of part of the day for over 16 consecutive years. Yes. I know.

People have asked me what I'm "going to do with" myself, and to tell you the truth, I have no idea. Of course, I have a mountain of things to do, not least because we moved into this house 6 years ago and I had a 5 month old baby and a brand new publishing contract. Not a lot of time for home-making, so it's all still there in it's guilt-inducing glory. A guest bedroom that looks more like a hospital ward, a boy's room that is now embarrassingly baby blue, and a kitchen than is about as organised as Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olympics. There's also the 70% finished book that needs well, finishing and fact-checking, as well as lots of unsubscribing from Internet groups that I have joined and subsequently ignored.

The Ball & Chain is making strange noises about retiring early, but I'm having none of that. There's no way I'm spending sixteen years, six months (yes, I know, you know) and twenty two days stepping over small children only to start all over again with a 6 foot 4 inch version. No siree Bob. If he wants to retire I will have to put him in a retirement home, that's all there is to it. I'm not having doddery people cluttering up what will soon be my wonderfully organised (not to mention co-ordinated) house.

So - what are my plans for this joyous day? No idea - answers on a postcard or the back of a stuck down envelope please.



  1. Had to stop by today to say hello (with a mouthful of Ready Brek and a cup of PG Tips) to someone who would understand.....;)

    I hope that you are enjoying your Alone In the House time!! It doesn't last long though...before you know it, The Ball and Chain will be retired and under your feet, and The Little Guy will be bringing his girlfriend home, if the two teenage siblings aren't doing so already.

    Brace Yourself, girl. A solo trip to the farthest corner of Alaska is what I recommend. Your mobile phone probably won't get any signal there, and if it does....well, you can fake it.
    Bella :)

  2. well you could take over from MY day day off and l've stopped for lunch as I have just wrestled with strimmer and lawnmower, taken the skin off all mu knuckles, steam pressed 13 vintage dresses ready to take photos.. found that the sheds deep freeze isnt..its all turned mouldy after a power loss early in august...I thought the damn thing was nearly empty...

    it stinks so have cleaned that out, then flung the lid back so violently that I broke the electricity socket casing....etc etc...

    double f**kitty f**k...he kids will troll in soon and Larry is hovering telling me to eat and drink and put my feet up for ten or thirty!! when I get up i the morning knowing l have the day spread out long in front of never turns out quite right!!!

    so I need to hear how YOUR day turns OUT expatmum....

  3. Wahoo! Don't know HOW you have survived 16 years. I take my hat off to you. ENJOY!!!!

  4. It's my eldest's 13th birthday today - where did that time go? Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll find plenty to occupy your (new-found) time - just keep away from the Internet.

  5. Oh congratulations! Everyone needs a bit of breathing room, espcecially after so long caring for the little ones! I bet you miss him later today though - we'll see!

  6. Phew. About time. Buy a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's and eat it on your own before they all come home Lx

  7. Good for you. I can feel your excitement from here.

    As for today, I think you should go and do something that you've always wanted to, but somehow haven't got around to. A lingering visit to an art museum. A brisk walk without kids in tow. A huge doughnut. Doesn't really matter - just so long as it's ALL FOR YOU!

  8. Now that is what I would really like - the house to myself for a few hours a day! Mine are all teens, but I contrive to work (at an office) for the time they are at school, which is not all day here in Brazil. When I get home, they are already back and lurking on the sofa or in their rooms ready to pounce as soon as I turn the key in the lock. Mum, can I have this, can I have $$$, can I invite so and so over, what is for dinner, He didn`t wash his lunch dishes, she didn`t collect the dirty washing.... and it goes on and on. On the other hand I heard something great from my own mother - my father, who is a hale 74, has recently moved offices to a place just up the road, so he gets home for lunch every day. My mother muttered to me the other day - I know I married him for better and for worse, but I did NOT marry him for lunch!!! And they`ve been married for 50 years...

  9. Oh dear...... we have all been there.
    Youngest granddaughter has started all day school now too.

    Well you will soon wonder how you ever coped before with a child breaking up your day like that..... but if you are desperate for children's company, then you could babysit for someone else! (Bit complicated over here to get started) & I don't suppose that will appeal.

    You could write in peace!
    Take up a hobby!
    Lie down & eat chocolate.

    But...... I can assure you, you WILL get used to it.

    Having a husband at home is another kettle of fish though. That is difficult!

  10. Congratulations! I say you should spend your first day celebrating and doing anything decadent that comes to mind.

  11. 16 years - now that is an achievement. I am going round the bend after four months of two kids at home full time. When they start preschool next week, I will be getting a haircut, going clothes shopping and sitting in a coffee shop reading a magazine in peace before I do anything else....

  12. Yes I think the answer should be either "as little as possible" or "nothing productive" for a few days at least - enjoy!

  13. Your day will still fly by and then you will be wondering where the time went when they walk through the door. profitable forex system

  14. well the first thing you should do is NOTHING. just savour the peace and quiet and give yourself time to have a think and absorb your new status after 16 years of being in penal servitude.
    then wallow in your FREEDOM!

  15. What a funny take : ) I am having a hard time this year with my son going back to school. It just seems that they grow so quickly. I am treasuring the moments of childhood and NOT looking forward to teenage year so much.... : )

    I hope you have a great time sans children! I am stopping over from Maggie May's tonight.

  16. Congrats!

    How about go down to the pub. Do they have in in Chicago?

    -A Modern Mother

  17. How about sitting down, with a cup of tea and doing absolutely nothing for a bit? A special treat. You can do the other stuff next week. x

  18. I hope you did sweet nothing - I did and it was GLORIOUS. Now however I've got twice as much to do today but at least I have the memories:)

  19. Congrats on the POTD nomination, and I'd go for the Ben & Jerry's option outlined above!

    You could always take up a new hobby? Mud-wrestling - I'll bet you have the muscles and stamina for it, after all those wonderful child-rearing years - How many again?!

    Look after yourself!

  20. I am so with you.... off to the home he goes!

    Love your description of things on your to-do list. Chicago made me laugh out loud.

    Congratulations on your POTD mention at authorblog.

  21. Oh that has made me laugh - putting poor old Ball and Chain in a retirement home. I'm afraid I hung out the flags when I had the place to myself, none of that empty nest stuff for me either. Make sure you keep hold of some of that time for writing.

  22. If it were me I'd have something fat and chocolate based, a large mocha and a donut with colored sprinkles on it. Congrats! you're FRREEEEEEE!!

  23. enJOY your day! Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!!

  24. 16 years- OMG that's a life-time! YOu could be a mother at 16 ( in Bromley it seems you could be a mother at 12, judging from some of the tweenagers walking round with pushchairs, but I digress.)

    I suggest a spa day.

    [DG wanders off to find the Gin figure out what she will do in 16 years when her babies are finally OUT ALL DAY.]

  25. i hope he has a great day...and that you do to. i imagine you will find plenty to do soon, but in between, enjoy it all the same. congrats on the POTD.

  26. Put your feet up and enjoy a day without mithering!

  27. I was like Chris, not one to mourn the empty house, just loved it and love it still now I have given up the job that took over from the children. Money about to run out here so need to get back out there but while you can, enjoy it! You have sure as hell earned a bit of time off!


The more the merrier....

Blog Archive