Friday, October 7, 2011

Let's Play "Profiler"

So not content with having my ATM card skimmed during the summer, the Ball & Chain had his Kindle stolen recently. (Not sure where or when). Got up yesterday morning and noticed 18 purchases at 3am (always suspicious) on my Amex card. I bought the Kindle for him so the account was also on my card. I won't go into the sheer tedium of having to close the Kindle account and cancel my Amex card (except to say that Kindle, not Amex, are reimbursing me. Yay Amex) but a profiler would have a blast with the books that were purchased.

No prizes, but let's see who can come up with the most imaginative profile of the Kindle thief:
  • Fight Club; A Novel. 
  • 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue
  • Tao of Jeet Kune Do
  • The Art of Seduction
  • How to Create the Life you Want
  • Acid Christ (LSD)
  • The Unabridged Novels of Sylvia Plath
  • Survivor: A Novel
  • The Great Shark Hunt
  • Grid Detective
  • The 50th Law
  • The Essential Underground Handbook
  • Simple Sabotage Field Manual
  • Improved Munitions Black Book
  • The Anarchist Cook Book
If I hadn't been so exhausted dealing with both Amazon and Amex, I probably would have contacted the FBI about the last four. God knows what the thief is planning.

But seriously! Talk about a mixed bag!!! There are undertones of a home-grown terrorist, who's possibly suicidal, but is questioning that, who also really wants a serious relationship.

So, amateur profilers....over to you.


  1. The anarchist's cook book? Hmm,

    1. First torture and slaughter a dog somewhere in the sands of Afghanistan and post the video on YouTube. (don't forget to wear your black balaclava and Arabic subtitles)
    2. Grease and line a large baking tin. Ok I won't go on because it will be in BAD TASTE... and joking about suicide bombers is WRONG.

    Sorry about the kindle and yes the books are bad.

    Pig x

  2. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

    It's Tony Blair.

    LCM x

  3. I love a guessing game. I think this person is a serial killer - they have an intellectual and warped mind. Or maybe it's not quite as bad as that. Maybe they're just a psychopath and therefore would never have any remorse for using your AMEX card. Tony Blair's a bit of a psychopath I think so I agree with LCM.

  4. I think they are deliberately trying to fox you. Both Fight Club and the unabridged Sylvia Plath? Seems unlikely....

    I think it's a very clever blog stalker who wants to see you try to fathom out who on earth is picking these titles. Like a sort of double bluff.

  5. How bizarre that he (definitely a he) should want to swear in olde worlde language too!!

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  7. Unless there were more of them and they each ordered a book. Now that would be a motley crew.

  8. Hes a right weirdo.... thats for sure. Goodness only knows what hes plotting. I expect it will be on *The News*!

    That was a bit of bad luck but glad you were reimbursed.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  9. This is enormously creepy, Toni! Can hardly believe that someone who would want to read Sylvia Plath is stupid enough to be downloading books that are sure to entrap them at some point - Sorry for your loss and fraud experience. Scary.

    So interested to hear your sis' is now training others, and I also hope her practice is going wonderfully. Thank you for offering bits of inspiration and reality checks for me from her experience.

    p.s. I simply loved the earlier post about what Teens say - it gave me such a laugh on a day when I'm feeling grotty with a cold - Thanks to the great north east weather where it's dropped twenty degrees in warmth since last week - Eek! Much love to you for a great weekend.

    Fhina xxx

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  11. Maggie - I just hope I don't get charged with failing to avert a terrorist attack, or something!

    Fhina - the creepier thing is I've just finished reading Plath's The Bell Jar!

  12. That's terrible. It seems like I keep hearing stories about thieves. My co-worker had her purse stolen while she was at starbucks. The guy just ran up to her, grabbed her purse and took off. As for your question, I'd just go with Kindle Mystery.


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