Wednesday, December 14, 2011

End of Year Geordie Poem. An Epic

I posted this a few years ago in an effort to attempt to teach Potty Mummy how to do the Geordie accent. I actually wrote it back in the 80's while working (or not, obviously) in London. My late friend and fab blogger Lakeland Jo, with whom I worked, kept it for a few decades, (as one does with a work of pure genius) and here it is in the original format.

It's me ageeyan hinnies, A bet yiz forgot
It's Buggerallmoney - d'yiz care or wot?
Av had a bad year - yiz wouldn't believe
A just hoowop next year's got nowt worse up its sleeve

Forst there woz wor lass; she chucked iz in June
Am alreet noo, but a woz a bit doon
Iz everyone sez, there's more fish in the sea
But somehoo neebody fancies me

Then, a gorra black eye in a fight
A smacked someone's gob, hell's bells worra sight
A didn't desorve to be hoyed in the cells
Ind me mam fund oot - someone alwiz tells

Me mam hoyed iz oot so A kipped at me meeyat's
He was deed good ind helped iz get streeyat
Noo Av gorra flat of me oowan
Am alreet for spon; Av peeyad off me loowan

Am chuffed last years' ower A woz gettin a bit sick
it's teken it oot iv iz, even tho' Am thick
Al hev a gud Christmas ind treat mesell well
A suggest yiz al dee the seeyam iz well.

Mind how yiz gan noo.

A translation to come in a few days. 


  1. "Spon" is the word that's confusing me., but other than that I can follow it nay problem, pet!
    Interesting how the Teesside accent, which I'm obviously more used to, doesn't use certain sounds that you find on Tyneside. There's a more interesting cadence with the Tyneside accent, it "sings" more. Ours, by contrast, gets a bit more muddied by our proximity to Yorkshire.

  2. Spon is short for Spondoolix, or Spondoolicks, which is money.
    And yes, I think the Tyneside and Teeside accents aren't really that alike apart from being Northern. So I would write "nee" problem, instead of "nay".

  3. I won't even pretend I understood half of it, it's like another world up North...

  4. I think I got most of it, but I'm really glad you're posting a translation so I can check my work!!!
    Fascinating how 'mates' becomes a 2-syllable word...have you thought of posting a reading of this on YouTube? : )

  5. Nee translation needed fer me, pet. Yer canny good at poems, like.

  6. It's easy. All you have to do is imagine Ant or Dec saying it and the understanding comes easily!

  7. Nae translation necissary fur iz, hinny!

    Handed oot ter me meyates on Feassbyook! Ta, marra.

    Fhina, belangs Eshington! x


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