Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Being an "Older Mum"

Funny, there are a few great posts around at the moment about being an older mother. (By that I mean birthing at a later age rather than just being a mother who's getting older.)

Scary Mommy is writing about being listed as an A.M.A in her post, and Kate Kerrigan is writing about having her second at 45 over at the Brit Mums blog.

Regular readers will know that my teens were 10 and 7 when the "surprise" Little Guy came along. It wasn't in the "big plan" but then, as my mother said at the time "More fool you for thinking you were in charge of things". (She was actually very supportive at the time, and that statement though true, doesn't do her justice.) At one point I had been very undecided about whether to have a third child, but at about 37 figured that I'd better not, as I "didn't want a toddler at 40". Ha! Famous last words. Why not just have a baby in your 40's then?

To be honest, apart from the fact that I'm still doing the brushing-teeth-and-bedtime routine when most of my friends have a new-found freedom that comes with teens who can drive and don't want you around much, it's all good. Yes, I wish he wasn't so much younger than his peers; I feel terrible that in two years both siblings will be gone and he'll be stuck with his geriatric parents. I worry that I won't be around to see his children; the list goes on.

But on the other hand, who would I have to do this with?


  1. Funny enough, I was grooving along to this song in our car with the boys just a couple of days back. They thought it was hilarious - although the friend we were giving a lift home to was less convinced...

  2. Great stuff. Hope your back's feeling better.

  3. Just wanted to say I was 10 and my brother was 7 when my baby brother was born (he's still my baby brother even though he's 30 now) and although it was us and him for quite a while - when he started school I was doing O Grades, when he started secondary I was graduating uni - now we are all at a similar life stage, married with kids or thinking about it soon, we all get on really well.

  4. That is fab. Nothing wrong with older mums!

  5. He's got the moves!! Though I was waiting for him to turn the camera around....

    The older mother story that still terrifies me though is that of a friend of my sister's who acquired a small sibling when she was at university - her mother thought it was the menopause that had made her periods stop.... until the menopause started kicking her...

  6. PlanB - when I was pregnant with him, you wouldn't believe how many doctors, nurses and people I just met in the store, were siblings with more than a ten year gap between them and the rest of the family. I also have a second cousin and a good friend who came along when their siblings were around 20! It's quite a feat for a woman to be able to give birth that many years apart IMO.
    And yes, they will be friends. The older boy (16) is already less snarly and irritated by him and showing the maturity that is required when listening to Star Wars and Lego jokes ad nauseam.

  7. I'd rather see AMA on my medical charts than what my ob/gyn *called* me at my first appt: elderly primigravida (I was 36). I was so upset I came home in tears. One benefit to having a child/children later? It helps keep you young and silly. :-)

  8. And of course, as the mother of teenagers, you realize there's NO WAY you would ever be able to get away with posting such an awesome video of one of them on your blog...the boys hardly even let me mention them on mine anymore.
    And let me chime in as one of those with a large age gap between siblings..my sister's almost 9 years younger than I am and we are the best of friends!

  9. We think we can plan things but it never works out that way; I thought I'd have lots of kids and only had the one.

    That gorgeous, fun boy of yours is certainly keeping you young

  10. I'm 7 years older than my sister and although I feel that I missed out on having a buddy, I did appreciate her a lot as a little kid. She's my buddy now as we are both middle aged and the age difference doesn't matter so much. She was spoiled rotten when she was little.

  11. He is gorgeous! What a wonderful sense of rhythm. Loved that video.
    You are not old!

    I think really older mums have wisdom but not the energy.

    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  12. Maggie - I think I am more patient than I was when the other two were little. I was very stressed most of the time then and I regret that. And yes, that energy thing - notice how I wasn't moving around, and he was doing all the dancing. Good thing he mugs for a camera every time!

  13. There's a 15 year age gap between my eldest and youngest.Great video !

  14. I remember being described as an elderly primagravida when I was having my first (and my only) boy!

    I was only 27!

    He's now 20.

    I'm coming round later to dance around your kitchen with your boy - What a treat he is! x

  15. Sometimes I wish I could have had one a lot lot younger than the rest so I could really enjoy their babyhood. When as i started at 35 and ended at 42, that's not an option.I still get time to enjoy the cup on the face though..


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