Thursday, 5 May 2016

Not Twisting, or Bending. Really, I'm not.

So - I have one more week left of my stiff-as-a-board back surgery recovery program. No bending or twisting, and no lifting of anything over about 8 pounds. Every day I have every intention of following these rules; having had surgery before I know only too well a) how long it takes to let the body heal, and b) what happens when you think you're Super Woman for whom the rules are a mere suggestion. So I've been a good (but whiny) patient. 

The problem is though, because it's not particularly painful when I twist or bend, I get halfway through a maneuver and realize "Oh, poo, I'm twisting."Avoiding things like bending to empty the dishwasher are easy; I just don't do it, or ease gracefully down with a pliĆ© and stay there till the contents are safely on the bench. Then I yank myself up (still stiff as a board) to put them away. My thighs are in great shape, by the way. 

Bending over to pick things off the floor is a blindingly obvious one to avoid also. I have a grabber for that, and when I have either dropped it or left it in another room (90% of the time), I simply holler for the 12 year old or try to put my long knobbly toes to good use. (Not a good mental image, I warn you.) I am also now a bit of a planner. For example, instead of dumping my towel on the floor before stepping into the shower, I place it carefully on the shelf-thingy I have, and hope it doesn't bring everything crashing to the floor when I'm out of sight.  Similarly, my hairbrushes are no longer in the receptacle I have next to the sink, but precariously balanced next to the taps. (We have pedestal sinks, bought deliberately for their lack of surface area on which to pile stuff. Bad planning there.)

But it's the little things that catch me out. Like taking the 12 year old up to bed and realizing half way through leaning over to kiss him good night, that this is not allowed! Or when the dog greets me at the bottom of the stairs in the morning, lying on her back, legs akimbo, all ready for a belly rub, that trying to sit down next to her probably wouldn't meet with doctor's approval. 

So yes, one more week and then hopefully I will get the go-ahead to begin gentle exercising. I must admit I'm a tad apprehensive about this given the fact that four months ago I went from working out every other day to nothing. Zip. Nada. I am surprised there's muscle left in me to even work a corkscrew! God knows how long it will take me to get fit again - although to be honest, the bar wasn't very high on that one! 

I certainly won't be doing yoga any time soon. 

Not that this was ever me. Who am I kidding.


  1. So pleased to hear your op has been successful! I keep delaying mine, but think it's a much bigger "fusion" that they want to do to mine and I really don't want that....I've got sciatic pain but not shooting down my legs so can bear it for now. But that's really great news for you! Not long to go! Lx

  2. Glad to hear that you are on the mend!

    I also use my feet to pick things up when I am too lazy/tired to bend freaks my husband out. I like to think that it freaks him out only because he can't do it.

  3. Good news! And I say, if your thighs are in great shape already, that's half the battle won. Glad you're up and about and hope that the pain is gone!

  4. Glad to hear you are on the mend.

  5. You're sounding much more positive, hurrah! Your title sounds a bit like Not Waving But Drowning. Not Twisting, And Failing. Or something.

  6. Is it a case of "twist and shout", or is it not painful, just to be avoided for recovery?

    1. Recovery purposes. The scar tissue on the disc is what will (hopefully) stop the gunge coming out again. That's what was resting on the sciatic nerve. It's so long since I did it (ie twist or bend) though that I'm going to have to take it very slowly.


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