Thursday, March 20, 2008

Self esteem problems? Try a 4 year old.

While I'm talking about public conveniences, privacy etc. I thought I'd share what happened on Sunday morning when we made a rare family outing for jeans and other non-winter apparel. (When will these kids stop growing?)
I found a nice white cotton cable sweater which I thought would look fetching and yacht like this summer. (The nearest I will get to a yacht will probably be racing the tide back from Holy Island but I will be certain to look fabulous all the same.) I went into a changing/fitting room, closely followed by four year old who has become Mr. Velcro since our coinciding ghastly colds. (Does the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" mean anything to these people?)
Desperate for two minutes alone, I said "Why don't you wait outside with big sis?". This was met with a shoo-ing gesture worthy of a 90 year old woman - head down, both hands out front, flapping wildly - he might as well have had a Queen Mother Handbag on one arm. Shoving me authoritatively into the changing/fitting room, and of course, in a voice loud enough to reach my husband and about 75 others on the shop floor, he assured me - "Oh mommy, don't worry. I won't laugh at your boobs".

Jeez.

22 comments:

  1. Well, as long as he made that clear!!!!
    Kids know how to show you up, don't they?
    Have only just noticed your Loo post below, & am therefore a bit late replying!
    Very funny!

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  2. Hey, at least it wasn't your husband making the inappropriate comments :)

    Did everyone else just smile indulgently while you flushed a beautiful shade of fushia (not unlike the background to your blog!)

    Have a happy Easter.

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  3. It's that you know that you have to emerge from the cubicle at some stage and that everyone's eyes will shoot to your chest. Very funny.

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  4. At least he didn't reach out and poke them disparagingly, as has been known in our household...

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  5. Um, yeah...those little darlings...

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  6. In retrospect, I am grateful that he didn't initiate the "Why mommies don't have willies" conversation!

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  7. Out of the mouths of babes! Are you headed for Northumberland this summer? I love Lindisfarne.

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  9. Oops, sorry about the repeat. I deleted the third one.

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  10. My son has been known to poke friends in the chest region, to see what they feel like. And to ask at full volume: "why have you got small boobs Mum, when so-and-so has got such huuuuuge ones?"

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  11. Oh you can trust the 4 year olds to tell it like it is can't you?

    LMAO This has definitely happened to me. Just can't remember when. Probably blocked the painful memory from my mind. Traumatised you know.

    Kids have a lot to answer for. ;-)

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  12. Well he's definitely not going to be a legs man...

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  13. I'm curious, why does he find your boobs so funny?

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  14. In reverse order
    -emmak - I assume it's nothing to do with my actual boobs, as they aren't that bad. Having failed to produce breast milk on three occasions now, they aren't the sagging duds that they could have become. (Too much information, I know). I think it's me in the bra that he finds hilarious. I mean, it is a ridiculous looking garment really - well, mine are.
    iota- just as well, mine are usually pasty white!
    Cath- yes, the older two came out with a lot worse, but it's SO long ago that dementia has set in.
    GBS - Agghh! I always start praying when he opens his mouth to say something to anyone else. It can range from the nicest compliment to a question about the mole on their nose.
    Wakeup - yes, we are in England for the whole of July, (hemmed in by Driver's Ed (how old?) in June and baseball and volleyball in August). We have in-law family on Holy Island and will probably visit this year. Also have to do the inside of Alnwick Castle as it was shut last time we went. Can't wait. Oh and Hexham market. And the Metro Centre of course. (Most of you have switched off by now, but I'm making plans.)

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  15. I've not switched off! You are talking about home ground for me! Hexham market. Oh how I miss it sometimes. And Lindisfarne...

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  16. PS Whenever I post you a comment I get a mail delivery error by email telling me my email could not be delivered due to an error. But I haven't emailed you, I commented.

    Very confused. (Easily done). :-/

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  17. And I'm such a techno-useless idiot that I have no answer for you!

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  18. Thanks for sharing that. It brightened my day. Your 4 year old is just great. I like him.

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  19. That. Was. Classic.

    Funny, hilarious, thanks. Found you via CrazyCath via David. I'll be back!

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  20. You must come to visit the Grey Mare when you come home.

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  21. I do hope that you appreciate the marvelous Public Service that you rendered in that lovely episode.

    I think of the harried shoppers who had their drudgery lifted by that announcement. The sales clerks (YES!! I do know that we refer to them as "associates" now ... whatever!) who were pulled from their languishing black hole of an existence when they heard a customer being humiliated (what a glorious event in the life of any "retail" person.)


    Yep! You did real well in the "service to mankind" department. (and managed to improve some spirits here in sharing this one!) Thanks!

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