Monday, March 24, 2008

What (not) to wear

Panic, panic, panic. I have a fairly glitzy function to go to on Saturday night. Not black tie, but very dressy. The word "edgy" is being bandied about to describe what the IT people will show up in. I don't think I would know "edgy" if it slapped me in the face. I think I was quite "edgy" in the 80's, but now...well, I'm not an IT person, although I was recognised last week in the corner shop as having been on TV the previous week. Anyway, the point of the panic is I haven't a thing to wear. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Rien. Nowt.
This is not me being "Oh Dahling, I haven't a thing to wear" either. It's mainly because I did a bit of a "What not to Wear" on myself at the end of last summer. Well, I did the first half, which would be to give away or throw out everything that looked hideous on me, or that was never worn. There are a few things that I know Trinny and Suze would have chucked in the bin, but I have convinced myself that my daughter might thank me for keeping them. The reason for the current wardrobe panic is that I never got round to the second part, which is to buy new stuff. So now I have very few clothes for any occasion including taking the little one to school.

On top of all that, I HATE shopping with a passion. (I have been having my food shopping delivered since a particularly nasty nappy/diaper incident with my now 15 year old. The company here in Chicago is called Peapod, and for about a $5 delivery fee they bring everything right into my kitchen. I am actually a VIPeapodder and am treated like royalty. Either that or the delivery men think I really am royalty because I have an English accent!) I digress, - on Saturday, while hubby took the kids to get new golf clubs I headed for Michigan Avenue to find something to wear for this weekend, - and was back in the house in under two hours. Pathetic I know. I even had to eat an emergency power bar to keep myself going.

What a waste of time. Most of the fashions look like lingerie, and are fit only for females under the age of 16, who weigh the same as my right leg. In addition, there's the forecast that we will still be dealing with sub-zero temperatures next weekend so a floaty, spring-like garment will look a bit idiotic coupled with snow boots and a big parka. At the other end of the spectrum there was the armour-plated evening suit, which I find frankly rather ageing. Besides, I haven't had a face lift so don't have the Joan Rivers wind-tunnel face to accessorize, nor can I manage bullet-proof hair. And anyway, if I turned up wearing something like that my friends and aquaintances would either not recognize me or wet themselves laughing.
What to do? What to do? In my BC life (before children) I would have cockily (is that a word, for that is what I did?) whipped out the sewing machine and run something up on the Friday evening; but the nearest fabric store is a nightmare to get to and, well, I can't be bothered.

Given that my little one is only in school till 11.45am each day, and tends to hide amongst the clothing racks whenever I try to shop with him, this should be an interesting week.....

16 comments:

  1. what about that lovely fancy dress outfit you made for one of your children recently? It's snowing in London too!

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  2. Oh, I hate "do"s like that! Especially in cold weather. Go as an Eskimo, very practical!

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  3. My rule (these more mature days) is keep it simple. Maybe just black pants and a simple top and some great costume jewellery - just an idea!

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  4. Keep it simple and use the money you DIDN'T spend on the second half of your "What not to wear" paying a dressmaker to do it for you.

    Spoil yourself. And cockily is definitely a word!

    (I hate shopping too).

    Have fun.

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  5. I dare you to go round the neighbourhood saying 'I've got nowt to wear'.

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  6. FA - Didn't you read the last bit of that post? It got left at the place where they did the performance, ie. not school. I am still fuming over that. A couple of sequins and it would been fine.

    MM - Yes, in this weather we have to go in boots, take the shoes to change into etc. etc. Costs a fortune in cloakroom fees.

    Sofite - yes, the black pants/trousers are at the ready. Not a good look for me without a top tho'.

    CC- Probably too late for a dressmaker now. That'll learn me!

    Mother - Actually my kids are often heard saying "I can't find ME shoes". My hubby goes mad!

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  7. I'm placing you from somewhere in the north-west. Yorkshire at a push.

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  8. Mother - that's very interesting. I'm a Geordie. Lived there till I went to Bristol uni and then worked in London, so that could account for the generic northern accent! (Not that you can hear me!)
    Actually, I think there are a few radio interviews on my book web site.

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  9. Sounds like an outing for 'the little black dress!' You'll have to get someone to look after the little one and head for the shops again. I know...you hate it....I'm sooooo with you on that, but every girl needs a little black dress.

    Good luck my friend.

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  10. Hi, have spent a lovely half hour catching up on your life - sorry to have been away for so long. I reckon it's the LBD too, never out of place and so smart for almost any occasion. The thing about the 80s was that we could wear next to nothing in all weathers and not notice! (And we were all 20 years younger.) Love your photo of the snow - it's similar here, and has been the coldest Easter. M xx

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  11. Problem solved. Didn't end up going for the LBD because I always wear black and was trying to break out. I actually tried on a few dresses but the sleeves were too short (Susannah Constantine arm syndrome) and I didn't have time to find a shrug or cardi to go on top. Anyway, went into a chain here called Chico's which, I hate to say, I would tag as slightly older than me, but they have great jewel tones. Found two fitted jackets that I couldn't choose between, both will go great with either a black evening skirt or trousers (which I have). Bought both, seeing as I have no clothes, and best of all, one was reduced from $170 to $45. Love it!
    I have just realized that I now can't find the trousers, but seeing as I haven't had a sleepover since the last time I wore them, they must be here somewhere.

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  12. The jackets were reduced? So in fact you were actually *saving* money by buying them. Well done!

    I hate shopping too but I know I really have to go soon. Grr..

    Hope the evening went/goes well.

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  13. Now do you see my wedding dilemma and there you were telling me to buy a sewing machine tut tut. xx

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  14. My favourite expression in those situations? 'Spend to save' - which you did. (Mind you, given his current employment status I'm not sure Husband would be so keen on that approach any more...)

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  15. In my defence - I was driving home from the fabric shop in utter desperation when I saw a free parking place opposite where I found the jackets. (Obviously calling out to me.) I even had a pattern picked out, but they now have all their spring cotton fabrics in stock, despite the snow and sub-zero temps!

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  16. Sounds like you got it sussed, a jewel tone jacket and black pants, very classic, good choice.

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