Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The cheek of the man!

So the vows I had my husband renew last Friday night (see last post) were not really serious and certainly didn't comment on his more egregious habits. Not wishing to cause a pout or an argument, I refrained from demanding a vow not to load the car up with suitcases before I finish packing them, or one promising not to put the milk back in the fridge when I am making my tea (grr). He however, was not so sensitive, and his vows for me went something like:

I promise

- I will not talk or walk in my sleep and not argue when woken up.
(I have been known to wander round the house after going to bed, once even falling down the stairs. When my husband asks me what I've been doing I apparently tell him rather large porkies*. I'm sure he only does this for a laugh.)

* - porky pies = lies

- to know where my keys are and stop blaming children for not being able to find them. (I don't blame the children out and out, but calmly make the point that if I were in a position to walk into the house alone, instead of with three kids, two violins and a partridge in a pear tree, I too might have a chance at putting my key in the same place every day.)

- to take more stuff to the Garage/Jumble Sale than I buy there, and to stop bringing things in from the alley. (In my defence, I have been into recycling and sustainable everything for a lot longer than most people. It just didn't have a fancy name then. And I have two very lovely, hand-painted pieces of furniture that did in fact originally come from the alley. I draw the line at dumpster (skip) diving though.)

- to warn hubby two weeks in advance when buying something that may require assembly, and to buy such items only as a last resort. (I think that's more a reflection on him than me really.)

- to empty my coat pockets so that when husband is helping with the key search, he will not come across change, pens, pins, and used tissues. (What? They're MY pockets.)

And, as you saw, I didn't go overboard, only listing four. He did six, but his writing is so bad that I literally cannot decipher one of them. I will of course, be keeping the original document for use at a later date.

6 comments:

  1. LOL! The last 2 are definitely a bloody cheek in my mind as well! As you said your pockets, your business and I'm sorry but isn't it the man of the houses job to build things you buy?!

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  2. I have to say, the pockets thing... I refuse to go into Husband's coat pockets if I'm helping him look for something. God knows what's rotting away in there - I don't think his barbour has been properly excavated since around 1995 - when he bought it.

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  3. I remember that post! And yep, being an Aussie, I'm accustomed to rhyming slang!

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  4. Sleep walking! That sounds fun. where do you go?
    Hope all these vows are kept safe & sound! Was good fun to read!

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  5. We renewed our vows last year (10 year, or 'tenure' as we were calling it). I agree it can be a bit cheesy, but we did it in style by wearing outrageous clothes and going to a tacky Vegas wedding chapel, so I think we can still claim a mantel of coolness.

    I like you idea better - although I think we'd have been hard pressed not to have it degenerate into 'yeah, well you suck at laundry' or 'do you even know where the loo cleaning stuff is?'

    Great post!

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  6. Yes, as I mentioned, I made sure I didn't go too near the mark with my comments on him, but it was obviously not a concern of his. Mind you, they are all true of me and the kids got a good laugh.
    And yes, if you're going to renew, then it has to be in Vegas!

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