Saturday, April 25, 2009

Back to the back

So I'm still seeing my new BFF, the chiropracotor. I go three times a week for two more weeks and then "we'll see".

At present, my back is covered in two inch wide, lurid pink and blue kinesthetic tape. It is meant to affect the activation of the neurological and the circulatory systems, which in turn will encourage my muscles to function properly. It sort of re-educates my lower back, creating new muscle memory and hopefully less pain. Given that I can never find my keys when I want to go out, I'm not sure any part of my body is up for learning new stuff, but it's worth a try.

The chiropractor assured me the stuff was water proof, which it appears to be in that it hasn't come off. However, since it's a fabric-based tape (much like a larger Band-Aid/Elastoplast), it is capable of soaking up about ten times its weight in water, and then takes two hours to dry off. If I'd known that, I would have showered much earlier than I did on Thursday evening, just before I had to go out. My whole wardrobe selection (white shirt) had to be re-evaluated, which is no simple task when you do a Trinny and Susannah on your clothes and then forget to buy new ones.
I also had to stand up very straight to prevent the tape from touching the back of my clothing, a stance which probably undid all the treatment and taping I have so far received.

He wants me to start swimming, which, frankly, isn't going to happen. I hate swimming for a kick off, but the half hour driving to the pool, getting changed, dropping your underwear on a wet floor etc, is just thirty mnutes I don't have at the moment. Besides, doesn't it ruin your hair? Besides, I have an eliptical machine in my house, so I have obtained his blessing to use this.

Possibly the worst part of the whole treatment is his footwear recommendation. Apart from the special in-sole things I am getting, which I know will be good for me, he wants me to wear tennis shoes as much as possible. Now we all know what tennis shoes really means don't we? Looking like an American. There are many things I like about my American friends and family, but those big, ugly, gleaming white sneakers/trainers are not included. I think it's a throw back to working in London in the 80s with Americans who walked to work in immaculate suits, baked bean coloured tights, huge white socks on top and gleaming sneakers. Didn't they know how ridiculous they looked? Why couldn't they get a decent pair of flat shoes like everyone else? Anyway, I tried to barter with him, promising to buy really spongy, probably expensive proper shoes, but he's insistant.

At first I simply decided I wasn't going out ever again. Then it hit me, if I wear my workout clothes along with my tennis shoes, first of all it won't look so idiotic, and secondly, I have the perfect excuse for not having to think about putting "an outfit" together every day. Not that I do anyway, but you know what I mean.


  1. Read Edzard Ernst's Trick or Treatment book about chiropractic. It put me off for life!

  2. You poor thing - it sounds truly dreadful, all of it, particularly the tennis shoes.
    Here's hoping you are soon bounding about all lithe and carefree again.

  3. Poor baby, hope that back is in good shape for the rest of the summer! I hate our tennis shoes, too...I like the little white Keds, and have several pairs that I buy when I find them so's I'm never out...I need help I'm afraid, lol! Loved this post!

  4. Hmm - wearing sneakers and exercise clothes all the time - sounds like most of the American SAHM moms I know! Sneakers go OK with jeans don't they?

  5. Oh you poor thihg. Ask him if you can wear Dansko clogs or Crocs as apparently they are really good for your feet & posture.....there again if you are in the city you may look a bit of a plonker! MoOve to NH it is the standard uniform shoes.

  6. Ask your chiro what he thinks of the MBT anti-shoe (google it). There was a big display in a local shoe shop, and I found them a bit intriguing.

  7. I would recommend that you have some sessions on a Power Plate. See what your chiropractor thinks about it. There are plenty of gyms in Chicago - and I am more than willing to give you free training at the gym I used to work at. It is excellent at resolving back issues. You can read more about it at

    (and it would be so much fun to meet you...we can always wear masks of course to retain an element of anonaminity ;-))

  8. And it won't matter so much if you get your workout clothes wet from the tape after taking a shower. My back issues seem to be stress-related. Also, I have one leg slightly shorter than the other one, which throws everything out of kilter. And I'm hyper mobile on top of that. I like the powerplate idea.

  9. Iota's right - check out the MBT. Loads of people wear them over here, the only drawback being that they do look more than a little like what they are; correctional footwear. Although they are now available in pink and sandal varieties... (And no, I don't have any!)

  10. Oh you poor thing - can you go back to wearing #normal' shoes when the treatment's over or is this forever???!! And what about sweaty feet in Summer?? Don't suppose you can get open-toed sneakers can you? Now that would be a thing...

  11. Didn't seem to have heard of MBTs, but I may have said MBL. (Eejit). They're not as "popular" over here.

    Open-toed sneakers - maybe I can start a trend.

  12. I'd better get some tennis shoes double quick!

    Hope back is better soon. Have tagged you by the way.

  13. Poor you. My mother calls her chiroprator Dr. Feelgood. Hope you're better soon.

  14. I had a chiropractor in Scotland who was known locally as Mr Magic Fingers.

    I'm feeling very upstaged by Potty Mummy. I'd noticed those MBTs in a shoe shop the other day, and had never heard of them before. Now I know that they're yesterday's news in the UK.


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