Back to the back

So I'm still seeing my new BFF, the chiropracotor. I go three times a week for two more weeks and then "we'll see".

At present, my back is covered in two inch wide, lurid pink and blue kinesthetic tape. It is meant to affect the activation of the neurological and the circulatory systems, which in turn will encourage my muscles to function properly. It sort of re-educates my lower back, creating new muscle memory and hopefully less pain. Given that I can never find my keys when I want to go out, I'm not sure any part of my body is up for learning new stuff, but it's worth a try.

The chiropractor assured me the stuff was water proof, which it appears to be in that it hasn't come off. However, since it's a fabric-based tape (much like a larger Band-Aid/Elastoplast), it is capable of soaking up about ten times its weight in water, and then takes two hours to dry off. If I'd known that, I would have showered much earlier than I did on Thursday evening, just before I had to go out. My whole wardrobe selection (white shirt) had to be re-evaluated, which is no simple task when you do a Trinny and Susannah on your clothes and then forget to buy new ones.
I also had to stand up very straight to prevent the tape from touching the back of my clothing, a stance which probably undid all the treatment and taping I have so far received.

He wants me to start swimming, which, frankly, isn't going to happen. I hate swimming for a kick off, but the half hour driving to the pool, getting changed, dropping your underwear on a wet floor etc, is just thirty mnutes I don't have at the moment. Besides, doesn't it ruin your hair? Besides, I have an eliptical machine in my house, so I have obtained his blessing to use this.

Possibly the worst part of the whole treatment is his footwear recommendation. Apart from the special in-sole things I am getting, which I know will be good for me, he wants me to wear tennis shoes as much as possible. Now we all know what tennis shoes really means don't we? Looking like an American. There are many things I like about my American friends and family, but those big, ugly, gleaming white sneakers/trainers are not included. I think it's a throw back to working in London in the 80s with Americans who walked to work in immaculate suits, baked bean coloured tights, huge white socks on top and gleaming sneakers. Didn't they know how ridiculous they looked? Why couldn't they get a decent pair of flat shoes like everyone else? Anyway, I tried to barter with him, promising to buy really spongy, probably expensive proper shoes, but he's insistant.

At first I simply decided I wasn't going out ever again. Then it hit me, if I wear my workout clothes along with my tennis shoes, first of all it won't look so idiotic, and secondly, I have the perfect excuse for not having to think about putting "an outfit" together every day. Not that I do anyway, but you know what I mean.