You'd never know it to look at me

So, I mentioned a few posts back that I was having back issues. Having bent over to find a glove which had fallen down the back of the hall bench, it went. Spent two days flat on my back and another three walking with one crutch. (A walking stick would've been better but I found the crutch in the Queenager's closet. Needs must.) It's still a bit fragile so I went to a chiropractor on Thursday. Have you ever been to one?

Here, (to avoid causing grevious injury and law suits) they take extensive X-rays first, and boy do they make interesting reading. Do you know, there were more things out of whack with my back than right? I don't know how I'm functioning to be perfectly honest. It all starts with the feet apparently, and mine aren't the same. The angles of my arches are different, which then throws the rest of the spine out. My hips are not lined up, I have four compressed lower verterbrae, mild scoliosis at the bottom, oh and not one of my neck bones are good. My neck is about 46 millimetres away from where it should be. It should gently curve backwards, (Audrey Hepburn was the example given), and mine looks completely straight, but is apparently curving the wrong way. This could add about 30 pounds of weight to it. That's a lot of bags of sugar and would probably account for the chronic headaches I've had for as long as I can remember.

So next came the erm, "treatment" for want of a better term. First I lay on a bed with a bump that went up and down my back. At the same time four sticky pads shot electric pulses into me. The doc kept asking me if I was OK, and I really wasn't sure. I have a fairly high pain threshold but this was just plain weird. In fact, a slow drip to the forehead and it would definitely have come under the Geneva Convention's guidelines on torture. (But let's not go there eh?)

Anyway, next came the rack. Obviously it has a proper name, (Flexion Decompression actually) but it was a rack. I lay on it, had my feet roped up, then the bed was extended and bent, literally stretching the spine. You should've heard the noises! The final bit was when the doc almost sat on top of me, put a knee on my shoulder, held my head by the jaw - and asked me if I wanted him to crack my neck. What a bloody stupid question. Worse, when I asked if it hurt, he said "It depends". Anyway, I let him do it and to be honest, it's more shocking than painful. My resulting "Oohs" and "Blimeys" could be heard in the waiting room. As I said, it doesn't exactly hurt...

I have to go three times a week for three weeks, and then "we'll see". It's more of a scheduling challenge than anything else. He called me later that day to see how I was, and he assured me that there was nothing to worry about - a lot of people are walking around with this kind of damage.

But take a look at this diagram. Have a good poke around. It was a real eye opener for me. I warn you, it's a bit like cracking open a medical dictionary - you'll think you have everything.

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