Are We Having Fun Yet?

My cuz Trish (no really, she is) guest posted for Very Bored in Catalunya about her top ten holiday fails. I'm sure everyone has some sorry tales they could tell about holiday problems, and I thought I'd share some of mine. (But pop over and read hers first).

8 years old - my first trip abroad, to Italy. Second day I collapse in church on the Sunday morning and I spend a week in bed with sunstroke. Sunstroke so bad that everyone was suggesting I should be in hospital. The thought of being in a hospital where no one spoke English and I didn't speak Italian, with food I wasn't used to and all that, made me almost hysterical. The last two weeks saw me covered head to toe in large t-shirts and sporting a huge straw hat!

Trip to Jamaica with friend in 1986  What was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime turned into a national disaster as Jamaica was hit with three weeks of torrential rains and floods. The British paras were called in from Belize to assist, the roads were completely flooded and there were no flights out! We spent much of our time at the Wyndham Hotel bar in Kingston. Finally made it to Negril after a 7 hour journey in a very cramped small bus, where passengers kept making the driver stop so that they could buy groceries from road side vendors.  Almost got myself kidnapped by a guy in a bar who seemed to think he could buy me!

First vacation with the Ball & Chain to Marrakesh - both ended up with bad cases of diarrhea (surprise, surprise). Went for a day to the golf course, taking very expensive taxi ride, only to find out when we got there that the king was playing so it was closed. Speaking to the cab driver in weird French (both of us) I got the impression that he knew about this and just wanted the cab fare. (And goodness knows what we were thinking of going on a golf course - yards away from any loo!)

Honeymoon to Florence and Paris April 1990 - Both caught really bad colds. On arrival at hotel in Venice, were shown to a room with two single beds! (Not that we felt well enough for anything, but you know). Poor B&C had to find his way back through the labyrinth of medieval corridors and try to explain that we really would prefer a double bed. When we got back to England, B&C was so ill that my friend gave him a huge Hot Toddy and he slept for 18 hours!!

Trip to Mexico with three kids Feb. 2004 - celebrating the Queenager's 11th birthday in a nice restaurant. The service was so slow we were almost fainting with hunger. We kept asking them to bring out some desserts with a candle for Q, but that failed to materialize. The Little Guy was in a high chair and getting very restless so I decided to take him out for a toddle around. As I stood up, I almost slipped in something soft, but thought nothing more about it until I lifted him out of the high chair - and could smell poop. I then realised that the soft thing I'd stood in was a poo ball - and they were all over the floor. Cue me handing the B&C a box of wipes and telling him to collect said poo balls. I took the Little Guy to the loos and the mess was so bad I had to have B&C come into the ladies room to assist with the clean-up. Poor Queenager's birthday was completely forgotten in the panic.

Ski Trip to Colorado, Jan 2007  - was such a week-long disaster that it required its own blog post. Let's just say it included a coffee pot, an oxygen tank and $1000 retainers being thrown out. Oh yes.

It's a wonder we ever go away at all.

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