Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Calling all (brain) cells

I wrote recently about ridiculous celebrity statements - Demi Moore banging on about having used "highly trained medicinal leeches" to be exact. Now, I realise that these people are neither brain surgeons nor rocket scientists in their spare time, but sometimes I wonder if even they truly understand what they're saying.

Take Marilu Henner for instance. Best known as the lady taxi driver in the brilliant 70's TV series, "Taxi", she has recently taken to penning health and well-being type books. Don't get me wrong; at 56 she has a fab body and a great, age-appropriate, face so she must be doing something worth sharing. She's also very business-savvy and did quite well on the Donald's Celebrity Apprentice, but in describing her latest book she says,

"This book is about breaking your life down to a cellular level and saying "OK, what's working and what isn't?".

To be honest, I've now read this statement a number of times and I'm none the wiser. If I really were to break my life down to a cellular level we're presumably talking molecular biology here. I got my 'O' level regurgitating the life cycle of the Cabbage White butterfly, so this is clearly beyond me and is frankly, a bit of a disincentive. If, as I suspect, it's not meant to be taken quite so literally, then what the heck does she mean - "break it down to a cellular level"? I am having visions of us all in blob-like puddles all over the floor.
(Answers on a postcard or the back of a sealed down envelope please.)

A later tip in the interview advises readers to "Organise your purse, wallet, gym bag or desk. And every time you look at that, you'll say "Oh yes, I'm on a healthy life path".

Well, my purse, wallet or desk (sod the gym bag) could be organised within an inch of its life and that still wouldn't be in my first ten reactions. I would either congratulate myself on finding whatever was lost (as that's what usually prompts a tidy up) or take bets on how long it would stay that way, since my kids seem to live by the motto "What's mine is mine and what's mom's/mum's is there for the plundering". And really, - raise your hand if you have ever stood back admiringly at something in your daily life and said "Oh yes. I'm on a healthy life path". You'd either have to be in a TV advert/commercial or intent on jinxing your future health.

To give Marilu some credit, the interview does give the overall message that "Health is a total picture", which we know it is. A quick look at Hollywood reminds us that you can have a Pilates perfect bod coupled with woefully inadequate mental health. I just wish her editor had actually read the piece instead of just searching for typos and split infinitives.

To show that I'm not a total beeyatch and am deserving of the award recently given by Spinning the Wheel, you can read the whole interview at The book is entitled "Wear Your Life Well" (Collins, 2008) a title which, I'm afraid, could also be up for some scrutiny in the future.


  1. If your desk is supposed to be a reflection of your health, I've got high blood pressure, breathing difficulties and could die before I'm 40...

  2. Stick a celebrity name on a book of any old bollocks and idiots will buy it - just look at the whole Deceptively Delicious/sneaky chef debarcle.

  3. Marilu may be known for many things, but superior intelligence isn't one of them.

    By the way, she is from Chicago and grew up on the northwest side. A friend of mine went to high school with Marilu, and Bonnie Hunt. (catholic high school)

  4. She means pretend you are an amoeba, ie with no brain cells and then just believe everything I say without questioning it....I've just done a similar review of a book x

  5. What amazes me is how many people believe that every single thing that their favorite celeb says/writes is going to change THEIR life as well. I don't know what side of the Atlantic is the worst about that; often, I think the UK is even more celeb-obsessed than my own home country.


  6. I agree with Janet. If I hear one more.."Well, Oprah says..." I'll scream. (I'm beginning to think the woman is a cult leader)

    A few years ago a woman burnt down her flat, because she left a candle unattended. She told the fire marshall "Oprah said you should light candles because blah blah blah".

    Apparently Oprah didn't tell her you shouldn't leave them unattended, or near drapes!

    By the way Janet, I hope you find your missing earring. :)

  7. I can't be bothered by what so called celebrities say! Unless it is some one that I am really interested in.

  8. Calling all brain cells - what all five of them? All in the same place together? Now. that's. a. tough. one. (Where's the meeting point? In my handbag? Hmm. Not advisable. Too much of a health hazard)

  9. My desk should carry a health warning.

  10. Does this explain then why everytime I ponder the detritus at the bottom of my handbag I feel a little short of breath? I just thought it was relief at finding anything without losing a hand to the prehistoric creatures that probably live in there.

  11. We should do an "empty your handbag and tell us the contents" tag!

  12. I'm with you "sod the gym bag" - let's get the essentials right! M xx

  13. Am new to your blog but have really enjoyed your post. It totally winds me up that celebrities think that what they say is inherently important and then foolish consumers lap it up. Ugh.

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