I had a bit of a domestic turn the other day. You know, the "Why am I the only one around here who does anything?" fury that takes over from time to time. There were several pictures leaning against walls that would stay there until I bang a nail in the wall - so I did. Now, I know I said I wasn't making any resolutions, but after this blitz, I'm taking the use it or lose it approach, and I'm not just talking about my abdominal muscles. I have alluded in the past to the mountain of "stuff" I have squirreled away round my house. Well, no more.
The 19 year old, unopened wedding gift which I have been too guilty to part with. It's a set of Irish table linens, thoughtfully given by an Irish friend whom we have not seen since our wedding. I know he won't find out. I don't even remember his last name and I'm sure he would have to think hard to remember where I fit in to his past. The problem is that not only does it only come with four napkins, but the table would have to be on the Lilliputian size to use the table cloth. Obviously I don't want to throw it out, but I'm not sure what else I can do with it since it could well have gone yellow by now. Actually, my mum is coming over in April and has a newly enlarged conservatory with lovely dining table. It should do nicely.
Then there's the array of half empty creams. lotions, wrinkle serums and hand rejeuvenators that were blithely tossed aside when the next miracle came on the market. For pity's sake, they're all the same so just work your way through them before you buy any more rubbish.
And that goes for eye shadows, mascaras, blushers and lipsticks. It's not as if you have a jam-packed social life, and you're not one of those yummies that turns up at school every morning looking like something that walked off a Vogue page. You only need one of everything. Use them until they are empty.
(Apologies if this seems to be turning into a tirade against myself. I do need a good talking to though.)
And why are you stock-piling Ziplock bags? Next time you go to Costco, stay away from the Ziplock aisle. You have a two year supply at home, you could bag up the entire contents of your house (in small pieces) and now that you've become a little eco-conscious and are using empty cereal box bags to pack the kids' sandwiches, you hardly ever use them anyway. Enough.
The irony is that I work on the school's annual jumble/garage sale. We collect other people's stuff every Tuesday morning and sell it in May, raising large amounts of dosh for the school scholarship fund. I have the opportunity of ridding myself of gently-used but surplus-to-requirement stuff on a weekly basis, but do I avail myself of this? Do I 'eckers like. Clearly Trinny and Susannah, (or Clinton and Stacey if you're in the US), have had minimal influence on my wardrobe management style, as there's stuff hanging in there that's older than the Queenager. I'm not joking. There are two items (the same but in different colours) that look something like a denim jacket without sleeves. They still fit and look quite cool with a good shirt underneath. I bought them in Italy in about 1982 (swear to God). Every so often I'll pull one out and wear it, but if they weren't in my closet my life would go on as usual. I keep telling myself that I'm keeping the cooler or more expensive items for the Queenager. How fab to wear "vintage" - from Europe. However, since she's now taller than me and about half my width, chances are that she'll never wear them.
So needs must, my friends.
Oh, who am I kidding?