Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Tooth Fairy's Epic Fail

Not sure where the Tooth Fairy's head is these days but she's definitely slipping. The Little Guy lost a tooth in England, which I carefully wrapped in tissue to bring back to the States. (Seeing that we were at the end of our trip, the LG opted for payment in dollars rather than pounds or euros. Very smart.)

For two weeks, mother and child keep forgetting to put said tooth under the pillow. Last night, another tooth came out, at which point I blurted out "Good Grief, this is costing me a fortune". This was swiftly followed by about ten minutes of frantic backtracking, explaining that it's costing me money in tissues and note paper because we have to write a note to the TF explaining why we've taken so long to put the first tooth under the pillow, blah dee blah dee blah.

As he's 8 years old, I'm not sure whether he still on board with this Tooth Fairy malarkey, or he's just humouring me. Anyway, we decided to put the two teeth together and write the TF yet another note. (Every time he loses a tooth there seems to be cause for a note. Usually it's a note of apology from the TF who has a memory like a sieve and keeps forgetting to leave the money.)

Note written, we look for the first lost tooth, safely wrapped in tissue. Somewhere in the house. Argh - I changed handbags the other day and put contents such as teeny teeth in a safe place. Somewhere. Couldn't remember where so a note was duly written with blame unequivocally placed at my feet.

At 7am this morning my eyes shot open as I pondered the possibility of that damn Tooth Fairy having forgotten her duties. Raced down to the kitchen and sure enough, no money. I quickly made up for her woeful performance, left double the usual amount of money, and raced back to bed. Phew.

Little Guy was thrilled but very puzzled at the unusually large sum of money (it was only $5 in case you're wondering. He usually gets a dollar per tooth, but this was obviously guilt money.) And then he pointed out more carelessness from that bloody Tooth Fairy woman.

She'd forgotten to take the tooth away! Dear me.

So now we have to write another note asking her if she wants the tooth or not. I'm not quite sure where all this will end!


  1. This makes me feel much less alone in my crapness as a mother. Thank you for showing other mothers make mistakes like these as well.

  2. Mine sussed the tooth fairy out eons ago when, after getting 2 pounds under their pillow, they found the tooth on my dresser! Silly me.

  3. We haven't lost any teeth yet here but I am not surprised that $5 is the going rate. I'm just surprised that the Tooth Fairy doesn't get a tip - $20 might do it, or a Starbucks gift card. (Can you tell I am in the midst of working out tips for camp counselors?)

  4. Have you seen the movie "Tooth Fairy'? It's actually surprising good.

  5. I think it's time to retire the tooth faerie. She's obviously getting too old for the job.

  6. Ooh Nora - I prefer your spelling!

  7. ha haaa I love it!

    I think your son must be secretly laughing (and he's quids in)

  8. He's a clever lad - choosing dollars then receiving 100% interest on the deposit. He'll go far x

  9. I need the movie Tooth Fairy for my eldest one, she is a darling, but I need the movie, is too ambitious...

  10. This was so funny! You really were getting tied up in knots!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  11. So this would be why I have to go tot he orthodontist in Woodstock, IL. :( qq


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