Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So I was out the other night with four "girl" friends. Very unusual for me, although we are out of school so I don't have to get up quite so early.

Anyway, we got out of my friend's car and were walking to the entrance of the Wit Hotel. (Just as an aside, (Sarah), the Wit is a brand new hotel with the best rooftop bar I think I have ever been too. Fabulous.) It's on State Street in downtown Chicago, and at 7pm, there were a fair number of people around. Next thing I know, some guy leans out of his car window and shouts "Hey, cougars!"

I was livid!

To me, while it puts me in the company of Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston and Michelle Pfeiffer (in her new movie, "Cheri" at least), I admit I bristled at the nomenclature, however complimentary the intention may have been. After all, if you Google "cougar" you will see that the slang meanings include:

"An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man." I WASN'T! I was looking down to make sure I didn't catch my heel in my wide trousers, so why anyone might have thought I was "on the pull" is beyond me. Unless I look permenantly desperate?

On the other hand, (she says, striving for balance in this rant), cougars are also described as-

"Women usually their in 30s and 40s, who are financially stable and mentally independent and looking for a younger man to have fun with." Hmmm, I'm still not happy, and totally confused by the mentally independent part. Answers on a postcard please.

But wait for it. What would an urban phrase or trend be without:

- the handbook - "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men". Admittedly, it came out in 2002 so the term has taken a while to really catch on, but it's all there if you're interested.

- the reality TV show seen on VH1 in May 2005. In "Kept," a group of 20-something American men competed to become an escort to Jerry Hall, 48,for a year. To be honest, it didn't receive much attention over here; perhaps they should try it again now that the term has really taken off.

- and of course, the web site. - no less! Go on, have a look, it's hilarious. They even have a Cougar of the Month. Junes' cougar is Jackie, a rather well-stacked, I mean preserved, 52 year old who has this to say:

I know where I came from, what I've been through, and how I came out of it, and it has made me the strong person that I am today! You can't possibly know what that means when you're 25, and I think that is what makes older women very appealing to younger men. You can't buy that in a bottle! It takes years to develop.”

I still think I'm offended though!


  1. And you from Newcastle as well EPM! Didn't you turn right back to him and shout 'Hey! Wxnkers!' (Or would that not have set the right tone for the evening...?)

  2. Its always the same with hindsight, I'm sure you could have shouted something equally offensive back.
    I shouldn't worry, they were probably drunk as skunks.

  3. Would you mind if I laughed? I think this is funny - as is your report of the incident! Despite your intentions, relish in the fact that younger men think you're a babe! Embrace the vanity, Bonnie Lass!

    Thanks for the tip-off about It's on my favourites now.

  4. Ha -ha. The problem is that whichever insult I had had the presence of mind to hurl back (like Wa***er or T*ss pot) doesn't translate. "Loozerrr" - just doesn't have the same impact.

  5. I think cougar could be OK actually. It implies you are sleek and attractive, a la Demi et al, if somewhat predatory. Better than cradle snatcher, mutton dressed as lamb, etc (not that ANY of these could be applied to you, EM). Maybe your retort should have been 'you should be so lucky' ?

  6. I like nappy valley girl's retort!

    (A bit like my mum's response when she got a dirty phone call from a man threatening to come over to the house - she told him he'd better bring a friend "Because it'll take two like you to satisfy me!")

  7. "online dating for cougars and cubs" CUBS!!!!!


    but actually kind of disturbing....cubs are baby cougars arent they? its just kind of wierd sounding.

  8. What? This is SO rude. But still funny, I am afraid. How old was the guy? Maybe this was his very subtle way of trying to get a date?

  9. Cougar is a term I only recently heard about - and thankfully it's not used in the UK to my knowledge.

    Fancy not being able to shout w**ker or t**ser at them, don't they speak the Queen's English then? :-)

  10. I'd pay folding money not to have to accompany the braying ninny Jerry Hall for ten minutes, never mind a year. Still, there's one born every minute.

    As a man, and having only about twice in my life received a personal comment (and never, ever proffered one uninvited) I'd suggest you take it in the way that nappy valley girl suggests.

  11. Thought your post was hilarious! LIke "not supermum" I have not heard this term in the UK yet-- I found it scary/mystifying that its now part of the USA jargon?? Glad I got a heads up bc the next time I am out in Leeds and I hear it as "Cougahhh"... I'll know whats up. tee hee

  12. The Queenager thought I should have taken it as a compliment, but then everyone over thirty is old to teenagers and presumably desperate for positive feedback.
    I suppose I should lighten up, but it was the insinuation that I was out on the pull that really got me. I need another (time-consuming) relationship like a hole in the head!

  13. Cougar? I am woman, hear me roar! Take it as compliment. No one would ever mistake me as cougar - more a moth-eaten tiger rug.

  14. having a laugh here, never heard that term before. I can see why you'd dislike the insinuation that you were on the pull, but it also implies that if you were you would be successful in your mission.
    I have no desire to 'pull' as it were but it's nice to know I could if chose to explore that option.
    Afterall they didn't yell " Oi not a bloody chance love!" did they ;)

  15. I'd have been a bit miffed too,


  16. I would have been pleased to be noticed. That never happens to me.

    A Modern Mother

  17. Are you kidding??? You should be proud! It could have been the UK I Have heard the words Slappers used! Cougars sounds way more still have it Expat Mum!

  18. Ah - there you go. Definitely am improvement on Slappers!

  19. Beautiful posting - very nicely done.

  20. So tomorrow night I am looking forward to a full explanation, as to how you ever found the Urban Cougar site in the first place LOL?! I have to agree with the first comment, being a Geordie I cannot believe you didn't have a ready comeback for that pesky Cub! Thanks for the giggle and the tip.


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