Monday, November 16, 2009

People search for the funniest things

I spent a little time over the weekend trying to become more of a technical blogger. Notice the lovely little RSS feed widget to the right. I have no idea what it's going to do, but a few people have suggested I put one in (or is it "on") so I thought I'd give it a go. It was very easy even for me, but as I said, I'm not exactly sure what it's for.

I have had Statcounter on my book web site for years and I recently stuck it on this blog too. Once you have an account you can add more web sites or blogs, so that was really a no brainer. Besides, I'm a bit nosy and I love to see where people are coming from.

One of the things StatCounter gives you are the keywords people used in the search that led them to your blog. It certainly makes you wonder about some people, especially these ones:

- "gifts for a skinny little Irishman that will make him love me". I'm sorry - I'm completely missing the connection between me and skinny little Irishmen. OK I recently guest posted for Yummie Mammy as she moved back to England from Ireland, but even that's a bit of a stretch wouldn't you say?

- "pattern for hat with fleece dreadlocks". Hmmm, my little guy wears one of them to school now and then, so I'm hoping I don't have a stalker. I'm also a bit of a sewer and I actually have one of those patterns in a cupboard upstairs somewhere. OK, this one is starting to creep me out.

- "I am a woman, hear me roar. I am a mother, hear me purr". First of all, who types something this long as an Internet search? And second, how in god's name did I fetch up in the results? My kids would wet their collective pants if they read that in association with my particular style of mothering.

- "Raingo gutter reviews". I'm almost stumped by this one, except I've just bought myself a new pair of wellies with a smart bit of tweed fabric on the side panel. (Styling for once in my life). It really is starting to look like someone's spying on me.

- "Mean things to say to British people" - and I'm on the list? What have I said? I mentally went back through my recent posts and I swear I haven't said anything mean about Brits. I mean why would I? I'm one myself.

- "Government pharmacist". Apart from the fact that I don't think there are such things in the US, I did spend rather a lot of time last week in one pharmacist or another, getting prescriptions for the gammy shoulder and heat pads. OK, now I know someone's definitely following me around.

If I go missing in the next few days, just remember this post. (I could also have run off to the Bahamas for a bit of a lie-down, but it's unlikely.)


  1. I'm still smarting over the number of people who've come to my blog having searched for 'stodgy cake'.

  2. "Pippa is a yummy mummy" best comment search ever in my opinion! And "where did tina malone have her gastric surgery" I have no idea, but someone thought I might.

    Anyway will watch out in the news for details of your disapperance!

  3. I love reading the google searches too!

  4. I've had some hilarious ones - and pervy too, usually involving schoolgirls in nappies, husbands in nappies, or somesuch....always a good way to entertain yourself, reading the search terms.

  5. Snap! I did the same thing yesterday. Is'nt it amazing what you can find out from this new fangled techno stuff. I havn't had the chance to really look to see if I have any 'odd' ones, like yourself, but will keep an eye out. And I'm sure we'd all notice if you disappeared from blogland!

  6. 'Mean things to say to say to British people'???? Sheesh.

  7. Oh don't get me started on google searches for my blog - they are all unbelievably gross and pervy - don't think I can even tell you here, but here's a clue - have an award called ' your blog is fucking fabulous' and write about small children, stepdaughter, grandparents, animals. Put the two together and you'll see what I mean...!!!

  8. Thank Goodness I don't have one of those gadgets! Could become quite paranoid!
    The mind boggles.
    Funny post though!

    Nuts in May

  9. I have a friend from high school who must have a stalker, because a large number of searches to my site somehow have her name in them... even though I've never mentioned her by name. Scary. Although even more scary is the fact that I suspect it's her jealous husband checking in on her...

  10. ooh dash it now I want a statcounter...!!!

  11. I love my statcounter as well for the exact same reason, people search for the craziest things. I am also obsessed with numbers, and have actually written about this in my post for Tuesday..........great minds think alike!!

    Gill in Canada

  12. I was considering using a stat counter, but your post makes me wonder if I really want to know about the weirdos who somehow find my blog.

    Then again, a laugh now and again is a good thing.

  13. There are some weird people out there aren't there? The weirdest one I had was about 500, yes 500 hits one day all from people searching for 'cheerleaders having their bottoms paddled.' Mad!

  14. The reason people are searching "gifts for a skinny little Irishman that will make him love me" and winding up at your blog is because ifyouweremine on LJ wrote a fanfiction that involved one of the characters googling that phrase.


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