Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Porky pies - Lost in Translation

So I keep a few bits of make-up in my downstairs loo for emergencies. (Come on, I have one of those houses with millions of stairs, - you never know when my BF Obama might knock at the door.) Call me vain but I need some under eye concealer and a slap of lippy before I venture out of a morning. I call it a service to mankind.

Yesterday morning there was a suspicious "hole" poked in the top of the lipstick, which I forgot to murder someone about mention to a certain 8 year old. This morning, the lipstick-shaped concealer was smushed up and the lid was missing.

Ordering him back into the tiny room, I asked him what had happened and waited. Don't 8 year olds know that you can see them mentally making up a story?

8 y/o - "Ah, well. That (pointing to the concealer) was out on the side of the sink, and when I reached for my toothbrush it fell on the floor and the white stuff fell out onto the floor."
Me - (Eyebrow raised and arms folded.) "Really?"
8 y/o - "Yes, mom. Sheesh."
Me - "So while we're on the subject, what happened to my lipstick?" (Reaches for said lipstick and reveals previous crime.)
8 y/o - (Brain audibly scrambling for explanation). "Well, that one was on the floor and I went to pick it up for you; trouble was, I had my toothbrush in my hand and it kind of got stuck in the top of the lipstick and made a hole."
Me - "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

8 y/o opens his mouth, presumably to pile on the fibs, at which point I advise him to quit while he's ahead. Adding -

"I know this is all porky pies, by the way".

8 y/o comes running back to me with an exaggerated questioning look  - "Porcupines?"

Clearly I have been remiss in the British-English education of this child. I hope they don't take his  passport away!


Smitten by Britain said...

LMAO!!! Oh, these stories sound so familiar. He is too cute for words.

Joanne said...

So, when do we find out about porky-pies? Be easy on the kid; I like him.

Iota said...

Porcupines - not a bad guess for porky pies.

Trish @ Mums Gone To... said...

They seem very reasonable explanations to me. I'd believe him ;-)

Clippy Mat said...

totally plausible explanations from an 8 yr old. the child is obviously a gifted and imaginative story teller. full marks for good porkies.

nappy valley girl said...

Love the porcupines. I'm always having these situations now, using a British expression then having to explain it to my own children.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Would you Adam and Eve it?!

I think the bigwigs are coming for his passport now!


About Last Weekend said...

Fool that I am, I actually found his explanatory story quite legit, there was an arc with that one, drama, resolution and humour (Gosh i sound like I'm losing it...)

Michelloui | The American Resident said...

And you couldn't be asked to explain it to him...? ;)

Michelle Twin Mum said...

Lol, already at 4 my girls swear blind to me that they are not telling porkies!

Mich x

Maggie May said...

Sometimes you can see the cogs going round when you hear these porkies. LOL!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Jan said...

When my son started telling whoppers, he used to turn his back to me, so I couldn't see the wheels turning!

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